Remember 

I love the way you smile

Under cover

Needing acknowledgment for your effort

To get me to look inside

Big brown eyes

That see the world 

The way we always should

With a sense of hope 

In an adventure

You haven’t quite got planned

But know it’s there waiting for you

Possibility is never ending

I love you all around

Tiny toes 

To button nose

Fingers searching for hands to hold

Snuggles are our ritual

The kind I forgot

When emotions became frivolous 

And affection overrated

In the deadliest of ways

Life has a way of resurfacing

Remember the way I tried 

To always make life full

Of discovery and sunshine

To fill that curiosity 

I hope never goes away

I want to see you walk away

Looking at the sky

Building bridges and carving tunnels

Always reaching way up high

I’ve loved you since you were nothing more 

Than a tiny little flutter

Don’t wait for me

Keep on going 

I’ll watch you from the sea

As you soar in the sky

I’ll always love you 

Near or far 

I’ll always be your mother

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Weary Heart

One 

Two

Punch 

To the

Gut

Fall down

Buildings stay up

All around 

Up 

And 

Down

Side

To 

Side

Collide with imaginary lines

In imaginary lanes

Filled with demands 

And quotas

And rules

And regulations

An appearance 

Of watching out

For

Your own well being

Reality is more dull

Shaky 

Around the edges

Of just enough

To lead to

Insanity

Of the heart

Of the 

Oh so

Weary 

Heart

Upside Down

I’ve been spelling words

Upside down

It’s easier to write about meaningless things 

It’s easier to write about love lost and gained

It’s the gravel stuck under the skin

That takes time to bring back to the surface

The insecurities

The times locked in the closet 

The let downs

By sisters and brothers and mothers and fathers

Those are the unspeakable things

The things that keep us from loving strangers

I was brought up in the dark

Hiding inside oversized tires

I was an isolated dreamer

Gradients of green

In a world traveling under a shadow

I saw life leave their eyes 

I felt the numbness in my chest

Many people felt it was okay 

To wrap their fingers around my neck

Then in wonder they watched 

As I was romanced 

By the devil

“How could this be?”

I’m exactly who you wanted 

When you wrote novels in your sleep

Night terrors surviving

Never better than who you are 

Stop pretending

I simply abide by the parameters set

And I never run indoors 

Calcification

You misunderstand me

Assuming who you met

Is the same person I am

Forgetting growth

And calcification of bones

I let my heart pump freely

Back then

An education was had

From February to February 

I learned not to swoon

Not to feel 

Not to look into eyes

Not to count on hands and fingers

Not to open up

Inside

You accuse me of trying to make you feel

That’s not a war I’ve waged

Sometimes your heart feels like a stranger 

And sometimes it wants what you don’t

But I won’t nuzzle into bed sheets

That carry someone else’s name

And I won’t force kisses in the crook of my neck that aren’t placed there out of a desire for my name

Sometimes you whisper the shape of my face 

When I stand far away

My nose begins to twitch 

Sensing your curiosity about what could possibly be

You’ll cast me away

Maybe call in a month

But as much as we try 

Some of us leave prints 

We have to live with the fact

It 

Could have 

Been more

More like the movies

With mom and dad

Sleeping inside

Rounded edges

Lace curtains behind the blinds

Combed back hair 

Bacon and eggs

We dice up

And fold up 

And forget what’s inside

I’ve learned 

Dreaming in America

Is random firings of an already deceased mind

Our path has been forged

Following preset paths on an assembly line

My father’s a drunk

My mother is paranoid

I’m the best I’ll ever be

It will never be what diamonds seek to find

Your thoughts are unfounded

I don’t ask for the sky

Just don’t look through me 

When I’m sitting by your side

Carefully Plotted Lines

Dumping it out

One teaspoon at a time

All of the thoughts

Inside of my mind

I can see the twists and turns 

They thoughtlessly rip through life’s carefully plotted lines

The ones I drew on the map

The ones I put into my memory before it had been formed

Watermarked images

Never completed

“What if”s 

And “could have been”s 

You were jagged edge

But not the entire face of the mountain

I’m struggling to grip onto this continuously rising peak

I don’t know how I’m going to get back down

Inner Peace

I don’t enjoy

Scratching a hollow surface 

Downward dog

Into

Bullshit inner peace

So many empty

Faces

Find tranquility by walking 

Away

From anything real

Anything 

Fragile

Anything 

Combustible

They tame their temper 

By avoiding 

Unpleasantries 

Focusing on muscles 

That artificially extend 

And contract

I’ll break your bones 

If you give me a chance 

Run 

Boy

Run

Used

When the rust finds a home

My aching neck will finally snap

Purpose is an assumption

That puts weight on my broken back

Thoughts expire

As we melt into spring

I didn’t notice the sky open 

Maybe

I did

But I hated it for lighting up

All the things I’ll never be

All the things I’ll never see

All the voices I’ll never hear

In the end we were simply facilitators to the creation of the end

We were all being used

So stick that in your eye

When you are shaking your lovely little finger 

At all I failed to do

Flightless Bird


I haven’t been able to find words

Ears are no longer leant

Separation is getting harder for me

It’s happening so frequently

The forest is losing too many trees

And a bird without a nest

Is mocked for its awkward state

As it flies into glass 

Squawking for relief 

From the torrential downpour

Of a solitary life 

With chicks hatching

Into a world of great indifference

What is a broken wing

When jets fly overhead

I’d rather bury my head

And be the flightless bird I once was

Than fly headfirst into hurricane strength winds

Expected to come out the other side singing a sweet little tune

So the neighbors aren’t uncomfortable

Or bothered

Or put out in any way

Because customer satisfaction of the masses is our god

As it equals currency

That can not be exchanged

Do we have a right to happiness?

Damn right

Do we have an obligation to be temporarily inconvenienced in order to help a friend off the streets?

Preposterous

Their own bad choices led to their demise

The inevitable paradox

It makes sense now why I find myself dumbfounded 

Unable to communicate necessary thoughts

Love is elastic 

It slipped away

It snapped me back into a catatonic state

Some of Us

I don’t want it anymore

The pictures

The perfection

The what ifs

The could have beens

The open smiles

The coordination 

Flexibility

Cooperation

Not one

Not a single one

All gone

All dust

To dust

Staring over railing

Nails against cement 

To remember

Feel smooth

Against

Coarse 

Slip away

From my wish book

Locked up

Set it ablaze

Some of us aren’t made for photo albums

We smile only out of sight

Split

Unfortunately you seem to have split

Apart

But the nice thing about losing your mind

Is you don’t know to care anymore

When the boy leaves you to cry

When the money all floats away

When the butcher

The baker

The candlestick maker

All send your business the other way

When the people you lit lamps for out of sight 

Out of range

Left you stranded amongst planets and stars

Where messages can not reach

And your diamond colored envelope with all your hopes and dreams

Was carelessly slipped into the wrong mailbox 

And will never again be seen

You simply open your sad eyes

Stare out over the sea

Of empty bodies 

With powdered heads

Open that red mouth wide

And laugh 

My dear

Just laugh

You 

crazy 

lovely

Thing