The Big Tire


I fell flat as the world turned round

Saw bits of me falling out

Voices were hushed 

As crazy walked by

Knowing in the back corner

What had happened

What was happening still

As screws began to turn

Loosen their hold

Too much

Too long

People are cruel

As they search 

Forgetting to check

Rubber inhaled into frozen lungs

As oily darkness shielded me 

From being seen

With dirty snow

Soaking into 

Dirty jeans

My love was lost

Before it was found

Death

And existence

Has always been spinning around

As I was scolded

For being born 

Into a sinner’s

Skin

That only did what seemed right

After evil had locked all the doors 

I never asked for this

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Simmer

I don’t know what heated the water

But it’s boiling over 

I smell sulfur seeping through 

This chaos is internal

And external

And all encompassing 

As my fingers shake 

I was attacked in the night

But nobody cares when 

A burden on society falls victim to an 

Unwarranted fight

Must be her fault again 

Must be a cause

They see trouble

Self preservation in full effect

Too busy now

They have lives of their own 

When buildings fall 

Rubble will be lifted 

An eyesore is not comely 

But the broken bones 

Of those lifted from underneath 

Must heal themselves

Humanity is broken 

Six Feet Rising

“Six Feet Rising”

You put me in a box

“Shhh, baby, it’s for your own good”

You nail the lid down

“Aren’t you thankful for what I’ve done?”

You lower me into the ground

“Don’t you know how hard this is for me?”

You begin shoveling dirt 

“Everything I do is for you, baby”

Holding my breath 

Looking for seams

Scratching at fabric 

Tearing at loose threads

Wondering why it has to be this way

It doesn’t

Banging on the lid 

“This isn’t help”

Fighting to push through the weight

“I need to breathe”

I may be wrong 

But that doesn’t mean I’m never right 

Counting me out 

When I’ve just started the race 

Breaking both legs

Saying I couldn’t keep up the pace

Help and complete control are two different things

A helping hand comes with a shovel full of dirt 

I can see two paths

Frost would agree

I will take the one that blows through the trees

Let me choose the map

You are not my only source of oxygen

I cry every day

You couldn’t just help me be the best I could be

You wanted an invalid 

I’m done thinking I can’t stand

When my legs are eager

To run across this land

It’s sad

It’s a shame

I don’t even know who is to blame

Inner Peace

It hurts 

When all I do is 

Think

And think

And think

Simplicity becomes complex 

When tasks become compounded

Leisure becomes diluted 

Overlooked by obligation and responsibility

We don’t prepare ourselves 

For the colors 

In between 

Right and wrong 

Red

Black

The deepest of blues

Then we see a blade of grass

Bent 

Yellow along its sides

Smell of life

The opportunity

The gift

These problems are man-made

Breathe in deep

Today I create peace 

The world continues to violently spin

Seen

You won’t be unseen forever

Moving under cover

Every face sees the sun

Not realizing the image 

Imprinting

On its beams

Reciprocal 

In nature

Home finds you

Even on the streets

Closer than vinyl siding

Blue and grey

Mixed with uniform hedges

You lived that life once

But the open air has always 

Blown through your sun-bleached hair

Knots are reminders of what was seen

What was felt 

Diving into shallow water

I’ve wanted it too

A hard ending

Period

No semicolon

Why should you look up

It’s hard to put into words

Like the view from a mountain

Carefully traversed

You mini warrior

Give it everything

Nothing less

Don’t stop

One foot in front of the other

Don’t stop

Heart growing with each deep breath

Don’t stop

I’ll miss your face

Without ever having heard your voice

We can’t keep living this way

Passing strangers

Worse

Family

Without knowing their purpose

Their reason for putting warm feet on cold wooden floors

I want to know you

Evolution

When the water receded 

There was nothing left

Smooth 

Damp

Cold

Sky still grumbling

Clearing its throat

As the sun began 

Operatic display

New beginning

Starting from the shore

Moving up the cliffs

Spreading over roads

Spilling into valleys

Winter

To 

Spring

To 

Summer

Again

Its taste in my mouth

Forgiving

Learning patience

Seeking comfort

To be given away

Empathy enforced

Wanting to improve this world 

Again

I needed to breathe 

Without smoke in my mouth

I needed to feel

Without fingers around my neck

I needed to see 

Without tears in my eyes

Underground 

I learned what I had lost

What I had known 

Before shattered glass

Before insanity

Before the bridge collapsed

There are days where I am me again

Those are the days for which I reach

When I’m stuck in between

Sticks and Stones

Call me your best bet

I’ll get in line

Wait for you to come out fine

From the wreckage 

Of what was lost

Never saw it

But I felt it

Hitting the ground

I’m sorry

I’m sorry for the sounds

They haunt you at night

Carry you when you don’t want to be held 

Force you into a misshapen box

With crooked edges

Corners mismatched 

Holes let sand inside

From the time

You promised 

You’d come out fine

Why I’m waiting

None of us are fine

That is the only fact

In which I’ve never found a flaw

Fine is what would happen if the dirt suddenly floated up

Blood seeped back into broken veins

Hands smoothed over bruised cheekbones

Turning purple back to flesh

Fine is what children think life will be

If they are fortunate enough to live where love is found

Not in a living room 

With open screens

We are not fine

I need it repeated

We are not fine

One more time

We are not fine

When we find no value in a stranger’s life

We have lost our dearest gift

Sticks and stones

And all the rest

Leave bodies on the floor

Life is what You wanted when

You still felt the world had a story to tell

Not an edict to declare 

Please help me find something

Remind me 

Of the wonder I used to feel 

The faith I used to have

That this hope inside is real

You Don’t Know Me

I’m glad you don’t know me anymore 

I’ve surrendered

Putting pieces of myself to sleep

While new pieces arose from beneath my bed

Filling in the gaps with crows feet

And silvery strands

Hoping one day

I wouldn’t care about being who I am

With buttery lips

And hole-punched eyes

My ambitions once soared 

Towards a dreamer’s lie

Where happiness is earned 

What is rightfully due 

Is obligingly given

Whoever loves first 

Loves with open fingertips

Gives without trepidation 

A place that was falsely advertised

As a carrot dangling

Out of breath

I discovered the scheme

With both shoulders dislocated

My escape was surely foiled

I know what you’ve been doing

You know my eyes don’t lie

Jump

I told you

If you jump

I jump too

You looked crooked

Willing eyes

Surprised me when you 

About-faced 

Smiled

Pillow lips curled

I thought about teeth

Wanting to puncture 

Skin over muscle

Consume it

As I saw you 

In the air

Knees pulled in 

Momentum flipping back

An inverted spine

Feet over head

Perfect Pose

I’ll keep you

As long as this current flows

When you go too far

Know 

Too much

Is too much too

I believe your eyes when 

They say it’s time

To go into the room

Hair pulled back

An exposed neck 

Open to the things

I swore not to implore

Not wanting to be seen

Out of control 

Shaky knees 

Bending for you

This moment

That spins everything

Into another place

Where walls have fallen

The only thing 

Is light

Upon light 

Shades of shadows 

That brighten up the night

Little impossibilities 

That point an eye 

Where a mouth flexes into a smile

Most beautiful 

I fold too

Selfie

Taught that success is people knowing your name

Tallying up followers like it’s your claim to fame

Such a pretty pretty girl

Pink ribbons blonde curls

Such a beautiful young lady

Cherry lipstick glitter painted eyelids

Super Hot chick 

Short skirt spaghetti strap arms

Sexy mamma 

Form fitting charm

Thoughts and feelings

Frustration and compliance

Feeding sex-hungry eyes

Hating the mascara disguise

More than the pastel

Less than the goddess’ thrown 

You temporarily call home

When bloated lips look desperate

Wrinkles look out of place

What will you hold onto 

With those strategically shaped nails 

Claws won’t hide scared little girls

Who were only as good

As their portrait painted curves

Don’t mistake sex with power

When love is lost

Bodies become commodities

Traded among thieves

Every new product corners the market

Fads age like disease

I want to hear what you learned 

Aging on concrete

Your worth isn’t what daddy didn’t tell you

Your beauty isn’t what people like to see

You have to tear it down

To see through the facade

Here’s a wrecking ball

We can start destruction 

Once you say your real name