All of It

I try to be strong

To hold up my own spine

The weight

Crushes me

Every time

Everything is going to be fine

How about we be honest

It’s going to be rough

Hard as hell

Nails and teeth will break

From trying

To scrape by

You’ll be standing

Slumped shoulders

You’ll be breathing

Deflated lungs

A moment

A lilac sky

A wildflower breeze

A curling sea

Life is full

Even when it breaks

We wake up

For all of it

We live

For all of it

We love

For all of it

Don’t forget

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Told

What do you think my life is like?

Have you thought about that?

I’ve thought about yours

Your struggles

Your heartbreak

Your happiness

Your free time

I’ve been told women are weak

Too much emotion

I’ve been told mothers are not people

Their purpose has been served

I’ve been told I hold on too tight

Wanting to keep love is wrong

I’ve been told I’m too prudish

Giving it away is a game

I’ve been told I’m too loose

Giving it away isn’t a game after all

Only after it’s been received

I’ve been told I’m too crazy

Life needs law and order

I’ve been told I’m too uptight

Life shouldn’t be caged in

I’m not sure why my hands shake when I walk into a new room

Perhaps I’ve been told too many things

Perhaps I’ve listened to too many words

I remember speaking up once

Thrown against a wall

I remember having an opinion

Hormones are a nasty imbalance

I remember pointing out hypocrisy

Biology decided who was in charge

I don’t know why women are upset

Everything is just fine

That’s what I was told

Highways

You wanted me to see you

In a defined light

That created your profile

A noble chin

Indignantly raised

Eyes cursing thoughts

Crossing indifference

From time to time

It’s harmful to hold yourself

Above the process

Of life

As if there is some token

Guaranteeing your superiority

That never truly existed

Still I wish you’d stop counting

The number of ways

I let you down

All I ever wanted

Was to be happy

With you

Traveling across a country

No name to claim

Faded short sleeves

Under comfortable sweaters

Two sizes too big

Because when you’ve found me

The world opens up

Travel her highways

Long after love

Has moved on

Dark Circles

I stopped waiting

Looked up

Saw a clear sky

Full of ideas

Places

With walkable streets

Poured down the horizon

Slipping under protected feet

That missed the feeling of perpetual motion

Because waiting to be noticed

Is harder than

Noticing flaws

In cracked reflections

So I spun until the light filled up

Every pore

That had given up

On its own vibrancy

Through that light

I felt seen

And loved

Then you noticed me

That was everything

For a moment

Until your darkness pulled you away

Because light can only be hid for so long

Before setting fire to an overshadowing obstacle

Smoke is a temporary screen

The sun will embrace my freedom again

As long as there is life

There is love

No matter how many times

We all get it wrong

Sunset

I fell through a crack

In the sky

It opened the stars

And showed me

A space

Connecting

Everything

In a harmonious state

Filled with light

Falling like waterfalls

Into an infinite lake

I swam to the bottom

To get to the top

And that’s where I found you

Stumbling through

Tear drops

You blamed on the rain

I

Kissed

Lips

Slowly

Until the world started spinning

Sat on a hill

And watched the sun

Collide

With the clouds

We all knew

Our fate

Still something beautiful

Was there

#12

#12

Do any of you feel anything?

While ripping at each other’s seams

I get it

Boys break too

But my god

I’m not the

Princess

Who left you

Crying with ear pressed

Against the door

I never lied

As many times

As you wanted to catch me

All I wanted to do

Was love

A warm body

That felt whole

When pressed across my thinly inked

Sillouhetted borders

Fools aren’t in love

They’re casting shadows

From the outside

I never asked you to mention forever

But you hated me every time

It vividly crossed your pristine mind

Glorified Selfie

I saw myself through someone else’s eyes

It wasn’t what I expected

Not nearly half as bad

The blemishes were porcelain

The worn out look

Carried commonalities amongst friends

Confidence had been fully enabled

No need to put up the facade

Edges were softened

As shadows cut where they belonged

Lips pulled every moving body inward

Calculating how to attach

For any amount of time

Because there is fragrance

In an untamed

Yet

Passionately honest heart

That is what I saw

That is what I felt

That is what I lay down before you

Always on bended knees

Metamorphosis

Don’t let people know

Too much about you

All they’ll do

Is use it to break you

Especially

When all you need is a somebody

Somebody to

Just somebody

They smell it on your

Crumpled collar

The way your eyes

Shudder downwards

Anticipating the dissipation of light

Casting out the last hope

The only lifeboat left

They hop in for a ride

See what you have to offer

No commitment in mind

An observation

About what went horribly wrong

When shadows followed you in the hallway

Then you turned out

This way

The only way you know

It’s not quite right

It’s not how they want to see you

But expecting joints to bend the opposite way

Is just foolish

They never really wanted to see change

Anyway

They wanted to inhale your life

Absorb the way you love

Without holding back

They don’t understand it

Can’t be around it

Very long

So you gave

Until they walked away

Pretending to come back

Because they missed it

The look in your eyes

Undeserved loyalty

Once you knew

They didn’t intend to be around for long

You built a cocoon

No one has seen you

Since the last full moon

Looking Up

Looking up

To find inspiration

In the way you dance

Because I taught you that joy

I gave you something

That will carry you

When the world stops caring

It’s hard to talk about

The most delicate things

The parts that make up a home

With missing pieces

But I see the universe

In your contemplative eyes

Gives me hope

Makes me want to create a future

Despite the obstacles

Created by the past

Ignorance of intolerant minds

Dissipates

When you smile

As if nothing has ever been wrong

In a Beautiful world

Let us all

Follow a child

As they see what could be

Because we have forgotten

As the corruption anchors

From the inside

I want to hold on to you

Until you carry me home

Because it’s not me baby girl

You will be the one

To change how we see everything

Heaven Exists

Suddenly a light shows up

Forces out all of the pain

That was swollen into the grooves of the bone

Bringing together

A broken frame

Torn apart

By always being thrown away

Hidden by folds in the brain

Understanding mistakes

Were the only way to find out

What was right

Sinking into the valley of your voice

Familiar eyes

So many faces before

But only now

Pulling me in

Holding steady

Longing to find answers

Only to wish I could

Forget

How much I once believed

Heaven exists