Ponytail Girl

Funner than summer

You’ve got those high kicks

Laugh smile babe

Brown eyes

Brown eyes

You’ve got bravado to spare

Cartwheel somersault kiddo 

Ponytail

Ponytail

You’ve got a funny bone in both arms

Head tilt smirk girl

Freckle speckled nose

Freckle speckled nose

My favorite companion

My unprecedented champion

I’ll fight the dragons with you

Let me know when they’re here 

Pillow fights in a tree house

 I’ll build a satellite for you

Send it up

Watch it spin around

Send back pictures of things waiting to be found

Brown eyes

Ponytail

Freckle speckled nose

You’re my favorite 

Girl

To the moon and back

What adventures will unfurl

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Remember 

I love the way you smile

Under cover

Needing acknowledgment for your effort

To get me to look inside

Big brown eyes

That see the world 

The way we always should

With a sense of hope 

In an adventure

You haven’t quite got planned

But know it’s there waiting for you

Possibility is never ending

I love you all around

Tiny toes 

To button nose

Fingers searching for hands to hold

Snuggles are our ritual

The kind I forgot

When emotions became frivolous 

And affection overrated

In the deadliest of ways

Life has a way of resurfacing

Remember the way I tried 

To always make life full

Of discovery and sunshine

To fill that curiosity 

I hope never goes away

I want to see you walk away

Looking at the sky

Building bridges and carving tunnels

Always reaching way up high

I’ve loved you since you were nothing more 

Than a tiny little flutter

Don’t wait for me

Keep on going 

I’ll watch you from the sea

As you soar in the sky

I’ll always love you 

Near or far 

I’ll always be your mother

In the Year 3000

I’ve been thinking

About the future

Metal in place of skin

Seeking companionship

Looking through glass

Void of touch and human interaction

We don’t trust ourselves enough 

What will it be like 

When you are grown

What will the world we created 

Bring to your door

Via drone

Is this progress

Or are we devolving 

Wasn’t it our souls that gave us an edge

Now we sell them and break them and rip them out of strangers’ cores

Have we always been this way

Bending bridges 

Making passage less safe

I worry about who you will meet

I’ve looked evil in the eye

All I can do is make you strong

Show you love 

Tell you to mean something 

In your own eyes

Every day is further from what I know

I’ll do all I can 

To give you an edge

One day you’ll say it wasn’t enough

I promise my dear

This life is quite cruel

I did all that I could

All About

Rest

Time

Heal

Grow

Be angry

Let go

Love is always buried underneath

Between the harsh words

And angry looks

The sun gives us

Opportunity

Each morning

To try again

To get it right

To hold on tight

To shoulders that carry

Too much weight

Pulling at joints 

Ripping at cartilage  

Surgery can only masque 

The damage

But I can hold you

In my dislocated arms

Squeeze you 

Until you feel important 

Worthy to be loved

This wasn’t your fault

It wasn’t mine

Sometimes life is all about

What you can’t hide

What you can be 

Despite these 

Heinous crimes

Laceration of the Heart

In fact

I have been 

Freed

From the shackles of worry

As the earth collapses in on itself

For when everything is lost

What more can be done

But to love

Those left standing 

Amidst the rubble

The little 

The fragile

The pure

They will be my heart

And I will carry them with me

From this world

Into the next

I will protect them

As best a mother can

But there will be inevitable hurt

So bone crushing

I can’t keep them from it

Despite my strongest desire

To keep them bubble wrapped

Protected

In the end 

All I can do

Is heal the cuts

And bruises

And lacerations of the heart

With tight hugs

And gentle shoulder squeezes

Because when it comes to love

I love them so stinkin’ much 

It makes me bend the bows of the trees

And stop the flowing of the seas

It is misunderstood

And under prioritized

But if I could

I’d do it all again

You, Me, and the Sea

I drove into the desert

Lost sight of the sea

My direction was askew 

I forgot about you

The importance of you

The necessity of you

I messed up

Thinking I needed 

A hand

But all those that extended 

Were fake

Leaving me holding 

Nothing

But sand

My own thirst only leaves my throat more dry

Your smile

Your hope 

Let’s rivers run through 

My eyes

I carried you

When you were helpless

I taught you how to smile

Now I teach you what shape creates a broken heart

Full of empty promises 

Life’s let downs

Accomplishments overlooked

But that’s not all there is

I don’t want you to think that it is

I’m going to

One screw at a time

Piece back together this rig

Carry it on my own back if I must

I’m going to carry us home

To the sea

Where life is an adventure

And smiles are truth

If you’re happy

I’m happy, baby

No more crying over shadows that didn’t see the spark

For the people who said we weren’t worth the battles in the dark

You and I know the stories we hold

Much brighter than gold

As we shine

The naysayers 

The ones who told us to go back

The ones who spit on our unmarked vacant graves

Will grovel

What a sight we’ve made

Our castle by the sea

No matter where it is

I’ve got you

And you’ve got me

Blood is thick 

And coats our hearts twice

Ain’t nobody got what we’ve got 

Happiness is so much sweeter when it comes from the dirt found under our nails from clawing our way out 

Rinse it away in the cleansing salt water

I’ll keep a jar of it

To remind me of hard times

When I still had you

And you still had me

Happiness reverberates through the sounds made by the sea

Capture the Flag

Growing up

There were hills 

With no cities over the horizon

We pledged allegiance to flags 

Captured from the other side

We had hope in the clouds 

That promised us rain

That would one day 

Wash away the chains

Of a reality that held us back

Only to be shot down 

Once we learned how to fly

We learned not to complain

As it only left us more alone

Scraping dry blood 

From our eyebrows

Alone in the dark

Of a drafty basement

That kept ghosts hidden 

Under the stair 

Drawn into the drywall

I had a dream of driving away

Leaving nothing by the glow of taillights

I still have those dreams

Only there’s nowhere to go

No motorcycle riding into town to take me away

From a life not yet lived

Up to my neck in dirt

There’s no exit plan

Just riding it out 

One pothole at a time

Holding on to dreams 

That filled my eyes 

With sun soaked landscapes 

Inviting me to run again

Across the dirt

The unwanted wildflowers shine in their defiance

I long to lay in their beds

That keep air in my lungs

I long to feel alive

Just Enough

For a moment 

I forgot 

For a second

I let my thoughts wander

Then I discovered gravity again

I realized

M greatest sorrow would be not having you

My greatest loss would be not seeing you smile

You test me

And 

You push me

But you’re mine

Now until the stars collide

Super nova in outer space 

My blood in your veins

My freckles on your face

People will always come in and out our front door

Without wiping their feet

The door itself will warp and be replaced

But you will be my lighthouse 

As I navigate stormy seas

In a rickety boat

Unsuitable to sail

We’ll make it work 

We always do

Who knows what violent swells lie ahead

But I thank God every day 

Every morning

Every night

That He made sure you would be mine

You can hate me

You can think I did it all wrong

Sometimes you’ll be right

You’ll grow up and go your way

Even then

Pieces of you will stay

This world is full of people

But in the end

It’s just us 

And that’s just enough

Saige

I am trying everyday
In every way

Lost

You 

Deserve better

Than what I’ve done

I don’t know how to do it

I’ve tried 

Running in circles

Running in place

Running away

And

Running

Just running 

Until fatigue knocks me down

The world sees a problem

I’ve seen you love

Beyond what they can

How can I break open that cage

So that’s all that shines through

I’ve had people leave

I’ve had people yell

I’ve had people lock me out

Because of what I can’t seem to do

Because of how I have failed you

They say God doesn’t give us more than we can handle

But I don’t know where anymore of my hidden strength can be found