Challenger Deep

I had to get the water out

Weighing down the ship

Loosened all unnecessary luxuries 

Threw them o’er the side

Checked the vessel for leaky seems

Tightened all the screws

It seemed our voyage was at a loss

But I was simply recovering from you

I told the crew

To take leave

We wouldn’t be setting sail 

Pirates boarded the ship

Used up every resource they could find

I tried to fight them off

Then I simply let them come inside

Began to barter and haggle

Convince myself I was in control

The ship had changed 

The vessel that once saved my life

Now felt like a tomb

Carrying me to a final deep sea dive

I found myself sleeping during the day

Riding the waves at night 

Eventually all sleeping ceased 

I walked half dead when the sun was up

Fell into unconsciousness for an hour at a time

Never enough to find myself

Sanity was walking the line

Now I’m sick of feeling stuck

Always hated fighting the tide

The doldrums love seeing me lose my mind

I won’t allow it this time

You deep sea creatures

We are coming for you

Upgraded to dive

I didn’t make it traveling the seven seas

Forced beneath the surface

I’ll make it my home

Challenger Deep

We’ll see how far you really go

What ungodly souls live inside

Sun

Summer

Set

Your colors 

Down

Pick up with that heat

Leave the skin

Marked by your presence

Tell us how to stay discreet 

Punish the unprepared 

Embrace those that 

Understand

Being loved

Giving it up 

One drop at a time

Until they’ve been let down

One 

Too

Many

Times

And it no longer has a name

Sun

Do you see us

Scattering across

Cracked dirt

We wait for you every morning

Your indifference

Draws us in

When Did We Stop

When did we stop singing

Believing moved past what we knew

Paper was concrete

Facts were immovable

Now the world is a giant tide

Shifting truth back and forth

It’s so simple what we need

But it’s not in the rule book

It’s not written down

We feel it when we yearn to be next 

To a body that isn’t there

Making life complicated

Staring at watered down reality painted in neon lights

Amusement is not entertainment

I want to hear your voice

I want to know when we gave up

Because I’m going insane

Still trying to reach new galaxies

When my ship has no fuel

Want

“Want”

I don’t want to hear about the love of your life

Footsies

Learning to surf

Traveling up and down the coast

I don’t want to know about all the things

You don’t intend to share 

Because I missed my chance

Breaking windshields in the parking lot

Trying to turn the car around the right way

Everyone was falling in love 

Then falling apart

I was trying to keep my blood from spilling out

It doesn’t matter 

They all gave up

It was more work than the movies

But here we are trying to caress shoulders 

We were born needing more 

Taught to have choice

Hold out for the best

But maybe your need for simplicity is an evolutionary step backwards

A little elbow grease once admired

Now a sign of inferiority

If I found a man who could lift me with both arms

Stay when the meteors start shooting down

Look me in the eyes

When he was unsure 

Choose our home as a place to stay 

I’d make the world rejuvenate 

This current state 

Isn’t what it was

Not intentionally

We’ve taken freedom 

Despised her as slavery

Created a new form of the word

That now calls repression a new name

Requirement to be something better 

By association

Whether it fits

Or is forced

A self-chosen arranged marriage 

Proctored by society

A constant search for something we can’t reach

Something that made us breathe in

But never exhale

What more could we want 

Than to spend time with someone 

Who sees the freckles in our eyes

Smiles at the hesitation of our goodbyes

Someone who makes us laugh

Someone who wants to see inside

Of our troubled mind

Discuss life and death

With sarcasm at hand 

The world will always be falling apart

I only need one lifeboat 

To help me figure it out

Map

What have you seen on your journey

Did you break someone’s heart

Did you stir up trouble

Did you write a song and play it for the stars

As they danced around you

Inviting you to follow them

To a far off place

Where all of your hidden thoughts are exposed

Where it’s okay to cry

It’s okay for your hands to tremble

It’s okay for your troubleshooting conversations to be mumbled out of your solitary lips

Where dreams are brighter than a lit up screen

Adults can feel again without being prescribed drugs to make life a little more dull 

With the weight of expectations lifted from slouching shoulders that have grown boney 

From all of the guilt lifted up that mountain you live on

Overlooking the common folk

The middle class that doesn’t see the water rising

The benevolently yet naively happy ones

That drink their contaminated water with extra white teeth sharp enough to bite through USDA choice steak

As they praise each other for choices well made

For lives correctly built

For money wisely spent and saved

For choosing suitable mates with no unsightly baggage

What a snow globe we have created 

Shaking it when it gets too stale

You had to leave for a while

I don’t you blame you

I’ve tried to blast off from this rock a time or two

But I’m anchored by dreams that are too big

A heart that pumps one hundred percent of the time

Feeling from the tips of my split ends to the curves of my crooked toes 

I’m sick of listening to people talk

Is that why you went away

I’m sick of being reminded of what I should have done

Because that doesn’t change today

I’m sick of being told I’m an amazing creature

Only to be placed behind glass

If you have a map to follow the stars

I’m looking to get away

Gritty and Soft

It was a place

And I lived in it

I covered myself with the ashes from it

I bathed in sorrow

Involuntary

Not self pity magnified

A parasite

Latched onto my spine

Steered me to my final destination

You saved me

You didn’t even know

The same one that kicked the pebble 

That started an avalanche

You responded to me

And I smiled

I was still alone

In this place

Most authentic 

With pastel colors I could feel 

In the grooves of my fingerprints 

Gritty and soft 

Like clay

I cried by myself 

Surrounded 

I wept at God’s feet

On a structure built by men

Not the first to make the journey

Not the first to leave 

Mission incomplete 

In the holiest way

I woke up in San Francisco 

And discovered a piece of my strength

It was buried beneath a father’s disappointment 

Beneath society’s indifference 

Beneath your lack of trying

I am nothing in the eyes of the world

But this world is only a speck in my eye

I get to to rise each morning

And march across its soil

I get to enjoy its gifts 

With sweet strawberries 

And bitter mustard seeds

I get to discard its mess

One satisfactory speck of dirt at a time

I get to decide what pieces to carry with me

As I engrave them into stone

On the walls of my house

That remains unweathered 

In its portable state

At my weakest point 

I found my solid strength

At a moment that nearly surrendered to death

I found the vivid map to life

I pity the man who walks through life unchallenged

What colors he won’t see

What horribly glorious feelings his calloused hands will never feel

I feel it all in ultra violet 

Send out a signal for all to see

If you can reach me

I’ll be sitting here 

Waiting to share 

Technicolor adventures 

With you by my side

Sunshine

What is the sunshine

Remnants of something exploding in a vast emptiness that is space

A reminder that we shouldn’t be

But every day we simply are

A dare to reach out beyond what is just within our grasp 

While never being satisfied with what lay at our feet

I want to bottle it up

Keep a sample just for me

For the day it all runs out

The day we give up hope

The day we don’t try anymore

The day we say “good enough”

The day our hearts give out

Refusing to love anymore

I want to remember what inspiration was 

When we don’t feel it anymore

We’re Doing It Wrong

I think we’re doing it wrong

Confined by what has been pre approved

No consideration for colors outside the lines

That define less isolated shapes

Even the nonconformists find themselves 

Encased in cellophane cocoons

Anger is an emotion 

Just as righteous as peace

It must be confronted 

And let out to dry

I will not cloak my disappointment 

With what you could have been

You were weaker than your dreams

I stood outside last night

Screamed at the moon

She hushed me to sleep

Kissing both eyes

My spirit was kicked into place

When the shadows encircled me from all sides

I won’t be detained 

Or entrapped

Or victimized

I built this house 

In the trees

Under the Milky Way 

A galaxy I call home

It is mine 

Just as much as it is yours

I’ve decided to stake claim

Begin living this life

 

Back Home

This one ripped out the chain 

No anchor to keep the boat in place

Logic rattled

Heart taking over

A ship manned by a broken heart

The most dangerous plot conceivable

Fully armed with an arsenal 

Programmed for self destruction

I let myself be bare 

All of the pieces of myself laid out

Once the bomb went off

The pieces scattered

The inventory is off

The waves carried my compassion to the east

My perseverance to the west

I am a motionless vessel stuck in the doldrums of what could have been

Every gust of sea breeze is a violent reminder that the sails have been shredded

The boards are beginning to leak

Just as the order has been given to abandon ship

That old stubborn soul that was placed into this world one hundred years too late

Takes hold of the wheel

Shouts “Full speed ahead!”

The sails have been carefully sewn together 

As best they could

The night sky leads us by the stars to a rumor of land

Near the Galápagos

Once there

We will nurse our wounds

Share stories of how we survived past storms 

In different seas 

With different ships

This will be the one that tied us together

The one that changed our life

Got us back on course 

Helped us to always follow the stars

Back home to daylight 

Sing

I let go 

Of the ropes

Fell into the net

Felt the wind 

Curl my hair 

Caress my lips

I missed that feeling 

Of knowing where I’m going

Not holding onto the steering wheel 

As the tires are deflating

I love where I can be

Always moving forward

Even when the road was washed out

I built a bridge

I can stand 

Way up on top

Remember what greatness feels like

In a conversation

That requires muscles

Found only in the brain

I’ll twist my body

Create contours where people saw flaws

Because I can build

And create

And live

I want to shine

For them

For me

For something

Bigger than what has been

I will make this path sing

From the words I leave behind