Peel away

All of it

Stop shaking

Stop thinking

Stop hesitating

Your mind is a weapon 

With suicide scrolling through its bent halls

Empty faces 

With boxed up ears

Open funnel mouths

Spreading the coincidental tragedy 

Of what you could have been

The more you say

The more you explain

The more they back away

Even the listeners

Don’t like to hear

From mouths of the destitute 

Of the lost

Of the needy

Avoiding empathy at all costs


Hated more than lazy stagnation

Fills the void of contemplation 

Examination of unfortunate circumstances

A broken person was not delivered in poor condition

Molded by the thoughtless frustration of a fully formed being unable to cope with this world

The cycle continues 

I’ve been on both sides

Only thing worse than being a victim 

Is seeing evil corruption

When you look a reflection in the eyes


I’ve lost pieces of myself I don’t think I can get back

On this journey of forced self discovery 

I’m finding an empty shell

Of what was hollowed out years ago

Forgiveness was never requested

Neither was it given

It sits silently waiting for the next offender to stealthily creep in

Only to disappear 

Once the transplant organs have finally agreed to accept one another

Being ripped from beneath surgery’s scars

Because permanence no longer exists

Momentary complacency is all there is until someone gets bored 

Or tired

Or frustrated 

Your hatred of my self pity

Your belief it is a debt I fully charged against myself

Your disappointment in my unwillingness to accept the circumstances I was hesitantly remitted 

Because god dammit I worked too hard 

Bleeding from every overworked joint that cracks from the omission of peaceful rest

To ride a path only of simplicity 

Not immense wealth or fame

Enough to get by and not worry

About holes in the ceiling

And mice in the kitchen

Honoring the person I have earned the right to be

I will not be sold or compromised 

This battle is not done

Despite what you’ve heard

Money is not my king

I will live a fulfilled life 

Even if it is lived alone

Hand to Hold

You saw the world

I felt asphalt beneath my skin

You put a girl on a pedestal

I left the wreckage where it belongs

You are looking for an equal

I am looking for someone worthy of my undying love

That will cost total devotion

To a thing you can’t chain down

You will be asked to bend 

Until you break

Once it heals 

You’ll be asked to do it again

Strength and courage

Coated with unselfish love 

For things you didn’t create

Fastened with patience

For problems that existed before you 

This isn’t for the light-hearted

My burden has been anchored to my bones

I don’t want to put one foot in front of the other 

Without a hand to hold


My fists are clenched 

I’ll march to my grave 

If that’s the song that was written

If that’s the way it is

With eyes looking up

Chest heaving with pride

My body is strong

Want is a novelty I dream of at night

Need is something I’ve forgotten to feel

Bruised heels callous 

Hearts do the same

I trained myself for endurance 

Don’t ever forget 

You chose to walk away


Can you turn it off

Tick tick tick

In the middle of the night

Open eyes



Towards nothing

Breathe in deep

Let it out

Spin spin spin

There will be no rest

Thoughts turn into thoughts

Keep it up

Keep going straight 

Through the tunnel

Under water

Deep sea diving 

Going farther 

And farther

And farther

Into deep blue

Air bubbles rising

Weightless floating



The only time I didn’t feel pressure was when standing next to you

I Am

I created angels from broken glass

Others only saw jagged edges

My vision was warped by their assumption

Monsters began to walk at night

Hiding in my own mummification

I numbed every cell that felt alive

Trying to cover up my shameful mistakes

Rotting flesh began to rise 

From the inside

It was my own

Until I stepped back 


At the absurdity of expectations

Great and small

Claiming to have none

All of them were disgusted by their own inconvenience

How weak they must be 

To expect peace 

When life is nothing but a glorious battle

To survive

Bending down

Sweeping up ashes

I accepted what was lost

No longer will I be told what is right

I carved this road

Into the mountainside

Every curve

Every bend

I won’t flinch 

Or bat an eye

When tires squeal

To hug its sides

You don’t want to see

What’s on the other side

I never offered a free ride

This is my land 

I will drench her when she catches fire

And watch as the roots begin to grow


I am 

And will remain

My Way

I’ve got giggles in both hands

Sometimes I make them cry

They pull open my eyes

I’m not doing it according to plan

People don’t like being surprised

Makes them think

Something must be wrong

Not following a dotted line

I don’t fake a smile

I tell you when I’m cold

I won’t be a model 


Turning from the inside

It’s rough terrain

Discovering wings and legs we’ve never seen

Someone may ask to hitch a ride

If they don’t

We’ll be just fine

I feel too much

So I’ve been told

My heart is cold

So I’ve been scolded

I’m much too free 

So I’ve been reminded

I’m too rigid 

So I’ve been convinced

It’s so interesting how open we are

To critique each other’s lives

We keep on turning 

Revolving into each other’s past

I’ve got my little people 

You’ve got your big plans

I’ll watch you fly overhead

Plotting your investments 

One wise move at a time

I’ll look people in the eye

Tell them why I’m not afraid to die

We all have our way 

This is just mine


Hurt turns to evil

White turns to red

I’ve seen a metamorphosis 

Left me silent

In my fear

I have never seen someone 

Rip out their own heart

To have it heard 

In another’s pain filled ear

I could write books on what you’ve taught me

Your lying forked tongue

Your violent suppression 

Of hating the chromosomes

That went into forming me here

I’m simply filled with self-pity

That’s all this is about

You can claim your innocence

Save the receipt

But no one is let through those gates

Until all of the debts have been paid


It may be too late

Didn’t feel it when the rescue arrived

I’ve been in the cellar too long

Wanting to be excited 

The blue sky greeting my gaze 

When I saw it

I knew

It only promises to rain

This isn’t a game

No grab for attention

I want revenge 

Only with my words

The bride walks again

I remember thinking



Would be paradise

Now suffocated by the humidity

Lost emotions 

Never felt again

All of you 

Did this

Just like I did it to you

In the Year 3000

I’ve been thinking

About the future

Metal in place of skin

Seeking companionship

Looking through glass

Void of touch and human interaction

We don’t trust ourselves enough 

What will it be like 

When you are grown

What will the world we created 

Bring to your door

Via drone

Is this progress

Or are we devolving 

Wasn’t it our souls that gave us an edge

Now we sell them and break them and rip them out of strangers’ cores

Have we always been this way

Bending bridges 

Making passage less safe

I worry about who you will meet

I’ve looked evil in the eye

All I can do is make you strong

Show you love 

Tell you to mean something 

In your own eyes

Every day is further from what I know

I’ll do all I can 

To give you an edge

One day you’ll say it wasn’t enough

I promise my dear

This life is quite cruel

I did all that I could