Bitter Truth

Honesty is bulging from both eyes

Niceties

Politeness

And all the rest

Have fled for higher ground

As the waters of hardening

Unpleasant

Bitter truth

Consume the shrink wrapped landscape

Attempting to make everyone feel safe

In their isolated self-deception

It may be nice to fulfill your own pleasures

But that alone will always leave a whole person empty

Like a child who consumes candy until their tiny fingers start to shake

There is nothing less satisfying than having no resistance to overindulgence

I speak from a heart that has spent nights crying for your unacknowledged pain

As unqualified philosophers reaffirm your belief that “life was meant to be lived”

Pay attention to intuition

An undervalued resource

A feeling in your gut

You miss an empty space

You wrap yourself in dissatisfaction

What a life you could live

If you devoted half of your attention

To loving someone else

With half that devotion

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Tongue in Cheek

My words can decapitate

I keep them under lock and key

Until someone kicks the hive

Stinging until I die

A smile imprinted with blood

Across the face of a rock

That guides lost explorers home

Because redirection is sacrifice

An absence of who we use to be

A loss of life

A second coming

Renewal

Rebirth

Renaissance for the faithless age

After the calm

Comes the storm

After the storm comes reinvention

I need a companion

Who can weather through all seasons

A storm is brewing

Euphoric anticipation

As oceans begin to rise

Mountains begin to quake

Ships set sail

My heart long ago sank

My chest pounding out of habit

I try to keep words and feelings tightly clenched behind incisors and molars

My words only fit here

With tongue in cheek

Wonder

We once called things unholy

Now all of our faith has been lost

What do we do when see evil

Not even hiding

In plain sight

Holding a cross

When the unspeakable is just a cartoon

When right and wrong are opinions

Everything is simply a different point of view

Is this just growing up

Is this a bite taken

From fruit

We were never meant to eat

I wonder about things too often

I wonder about things all of the time

I wonder about things until they are inside out

One day I’ll lose my mind

Down the Drain

I heard the water go down the drain

I knew you left

I could pound my chest

Scream at the sky

I remembered how you smiled

When I laughed

Like you were annoyed

I counted the pauses between my breaths

Sure to not sound panicked

You never even looked back

To see my faked composure

How I made those salty tears sing

Because I wouldn’t let you win

Funny thing is

I now know I’m still king

Because I don’t feel any incision

Made by you

In my chest cavity

All of those experiments on feelings

Come and gone

I left them all behind

With the bloodied gauze

The faux righteous cause

I didn’t know to have a disclaimer

My god

All of this hurt

Helped me rise

In the past

I would have apologized

For being too cold

For not crying enough

But now

I simply walk on

This world isn’t made for the strong

It’s made for the weak

Who pull themselves up

Watch out baby

I’ve been practicing my dead man planks

I’ve got my chin above the bar

Ain’t no room for you

Just me

My life

You silly boy

I’ll never be anybodies wife

Blood Flow

If you let me

I’d sink these metal anchors

Branching off my broken wings

Into your tensed up shoulder blades

Until those hollowed out veins filled with the

Excess from my arteries

Already processed by the palpitations

Of a failing heart

Collapsing hard

Relinquishing the right

To brace before the fall

Wanting to feel the impact

Of utter helplessness

Of a release into oblivion

Where nothing moves

Or changes

Or exists

That sudden return to reality

Finding bloody daggers

Removed from your skin

Cuts that will heal without a trace

Except where the metal is fused to my skeleton

Never to be released from the remnants of your DNA that seeped into my carefully seared incisions

I’ll repeat these actions

Until my metal finds your bones and won’t be released

Sad Song

I fell in love with an idea before I knew what it meant

When I caught a glimpse of it

It nearly destroyed me

I think of rain

On cracked asphalt

That smells like the sea

On newly trimmed grass

I taste the oysters dissolving on my tongue

I was there

With a ghost of you

My own death flashing before my eyes

Justice can never be served

To what was

In the curves of drenched eyelashes

I aged a decade in a week

In a city filled with Golden history

Sometimes I hear that song

I played while mourning for you

I feel myself come alive

Because losing you

Forced me to welcome back a piece of me that had died

A piece of me I left in the basement

Drawn on the drywall

Before being textured then painted

Never to be known

Until I stopped relying on curved shoulders

To carry me home

I’ve loved so many times

But only a few

Come to mind

You are one of the three

And my tongue sings with a taste of you now

Bitter in places

But I’ve let you go

The remnants of what was

Will be a white scar

On the lining of my rib cage

Pulsing to all of the sad songs

You told me to leave behind

I love remembering you when I cross a bridge

It reminds me how close I was

And that I’m still alive

Love Economics

At a certain point

All value is lost

Maybe not internally

But when it comes to trade

To an exchange

To commitment

When running into violent arms was a way to cover up oozing scabs on the heart of a childhood self

When all backs were inexplicably turned

That’s all that will be seen

No matter how much silk is draped over the flawed exhibit

Lost men will be interested in the unique realness of a broken soul

Only until they are reminded of how the economics of love works

A mother is a mother to any lost child

But a father is only nurturing to blood

Even that isn’t guaranteed

Sexist

Politically incorrect

Experience

Prove me wrong

I dare you to look at me without trying to see past what’s in front of your face

I’ve felt love that was resented as it was given

I’ve felt when no one was returning that labor intensive effort

Too many times

Too many secret meetings

Too many faked guarantees

Too many hidden longings for the promised land

That has yet to be touched

That has yet to bear your promised fruit

That will be just as flawed as your plastic love

For a plastic person

In a plastic two story home

I hope you find it

I hope you eat it

I hope it tears out your insides

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal

Falling

The mountain looks so much bigger when you’re falling

Ignorantly flailing for something to hold

Something to break a fall

Instead of protecting the head

Tucking into a ball

Letting the event run its course

You can’t stop an avalanche

Not once it has begun

People are so entitled

Deciding what they can control

What they can leave behind

Sometimes parasites go undetected

Infect the brain

Cause you to see visions

Of what can never be explained

You thought the cliff extended

You thought you’d have more space

More time

Your body will decompose before your mind

Before your soul

Finally see what’s on the other side

That thing you’ve been seeking

That obsession in your gut

If you find a way

Let us know what you find

Expectations

Isn’t it funny how love gets tossed around

How we say it when we don’t feel it

How we trick organs into imitating its reactionary palpitations that come from the stimulation of automaticity that excites us for the brief moment of feeling again

I saw you had love songs

For her

I believed I was the only one

Even after it was over

I believed I was the only one

Even after you said 

“It’s just over”

I believed I was the only one

I believed the fingertips

I believed songs you sang

They thought I was crazy when you yanked yourself away

I fell to my bloodied knees

When the world was shaking 

And I needed you most

You said I’d be okay

Most cowardice of them all

Lying to yourself

All along

I think you don’t know 

Let me go back

I know you don’t know

What Love is

Because I had it

In both hands

As you poured molten lava over it

Because it was about to get hard

Acted like you never felt it

Because things were about to get complicated

You soft mold of a man

Don’t you know that’s what Love is 

To carry us through the parts that are too hard

When I lost my mind and drove to the golden bridge

I thought of you

Saying it first

I was scared

You said

“Everything is okay

I’ve never felt this way”

I’ve never met a man who didn’t lie

I don’t know why 

I let you trick my short breaths into believing you were different

Blue eyes 

Lucifer’s precious stones

I hope you find your zen

With an expectation of zero

You deserve to rot in peace

Is that immature

Is that too much

I think faking love is the most heinous crime of all

If there was a court with that devil Cupid residing as judge

I think you’d get much worse

Twenty to life

With no love to receive

We know you wouldn’t give

At least not for long

Thank god justice in Love is as real as Love that never dies

I’m the one who is crazy

Because I actually feel

This world is upside down

I’m simply standing in place 

I don’t want you back

I don’t want you in my arms

I want you to read this 

Feel ashamed

I want her to read this 

Feel unsure of the limits of your love

How’s that for good vibes

How’s that for keeping it chill