Displaced Dirt

I’m trying to find pieces

To connect between here and there

But they keep exploding in my hand

Mutilation unparalleled 

Remaining unseen

Trying to compare 

Physical handicaps 

To

Emotional catastrophes

A state of emergency

When you finally stop to care

Just long enough 

To feel badly

Then brushing it away

No need getting to know someone 

Who is simply going to fade away

No need fighting for the unseen

When their skin doesn’t inspire rallies of rage

No need loving someone 

When they won’t elevate your standing in this social parade

I am a placeholder

A secret

An unpleasant passing thought

Fighting to matter

To someone

Only causing more dirt 

To be displaced 

A desert full of half dug graves

One day I’ll find a home

And lie this body to rest

Elephant

Cookie crumble

Cookie crumble

Fill the pieces

Glue the lines

Sugar

Sand

Sugar 

Sand

Scrub

Scrub

Scrub

Sanity away

Break

Past the point

Of breaking

They don’t want to see

Wrinkles 

Under

Worried eyes

Looking pathetic

Looking lost

Fill in doubt

With fictitious peace

So what if you don’t sleep

When they don’t have to see 

The worried look

Carved into 

Worried brows

Fall asleep

Extra strength

Double dose

Close those overthinking eyes

Nothing happens for a reason

There is no blessing in disguise

Sometimes you aren’t meant to finish

Just to get a prize

Not everyone is meant to be 

An elephant inside

Averted

You have a slight lisp 

And your front teeth tilt inward

You change your temperament with the flow of the wind 

You love seeing me

But hate when I won’t go 

Your mind is tightly wound

And its anxiousness bleeds through the cuticles of your thumbs

When you feel 

It hurts

So you built up a dam

Well I’m the little Dutch boy

And I’m stopping the flow

Of energy 

From one reservoir of thought 

To the next

I will go

Quietly 

Into the 

Night

But I will not avert myself 

From thoughts of you

You Old Demon

Everyone knew from the start

Looking at me

Looking at me

Looking down at me from the start

They didn’t bother to swim out

S.O.S.

“The victors are never

Tried for war crimes”

So says

Bucchianeri

So you traveled the globe

Looked up skirts

Tipped your hat as you walked out the door

Now here we stand

Me on the other side

You breaking down the door

What is it 

You old demon

What is it you came looking for?

Weary Heart

One 

Two

Punch 

To the

Gut

Fall down

Buildings stay up

All around 

Up 

And 

Down

Side

To 

Side

Collide with imaginary lines

In imaginary lanes

Filled with demands 

And quotas

And rules

And regulations

An appearance 

Of watching out

For

Your own well being

Reality is more dull

Shaky 

Around the edges

Of just enough

To lead to

Insanity

Of the heart

Of the 

Oh so

Weary 

Heart

Carefully Plotted Lines

Dumping it out

One teaspoon at a time

All of the thoughts

Inside of my mind

I can see the twists and turns 

They thoughtlessly rip through life’s carefully plotted lines

The ones I drew on the map

The ones I put into my memory before it had been formed

Watermarked images

Never completed

“What if”s 

And “could have been”s 

You were jagged edge

But not the entire face of the mountain

I’m struggling to grip onto this continuously rising peak

I don’t know how I’m going to get back down

Used

When the rust finds a home

My aching neck will finally snap

Purpose is an assumption

That puts weight on my broken back

Thoughts expire

As we melt into spring

I didn’t notice the sky open 

Maybe

I did

But I hated it for lighting up

All the things I’ll never be

All the things I’ll never see

All the voices I’ll never hear

In the end we were simply facilitators to the creation of the end

We were all being used

So stick that in your eye

When you are shaking your lovely little finger 

At all I failed to do

Flightless Bird


I haven’t been able to find words

Ears are no longer leant

Separation is getting harder for me

It’s happening so frequently

The forest is losing too many trees

And a bird without a nest

Is mocked for its awkward state

As it flies into glass 

Squawking for relief 

From the torrential downpour

Of a solitary life 

With chicks hatching

Into a world of great indifference

What is a broken wing

When jets fly overhead

I’d rather bury my head

And be the flightless bird I once was

Than fly headfirst into hurricane strength winds

Expected to come out the other side singing a sweet little tune

So the neighbors aren’t uncomfortable

Or bothered

Or put out in any way

Because customer satisfaction of the masses is our god

As it equals currency

That can not be exchanged

Do we have a right to happiness?

Damn right

Do we have an obligation to be temporarily inconvenienced in order to help a friend off the streets?

Preposterous

Their own bad choices led to their demise

The inevitable paradox

It makes sense now why I find myself dumbfounded 

Unable to communicate necessary thoughts

Love is elastic 

It slipped away

It snapped me back into a catatonic state

Remember

I’ve been thinking

Too much

Turning skin

Inside out

Painting colors

Out of shapes

Bending time 

To Stitch together reasons

For why

And how

And what should have been

I’ve been treading water 

At the bottom of the ocean

With an anchor around my neck

I’ve been loving ghosts

Of people I never really knew

I’ve been corresponding 

The recipient: my own ink

I’ve been making arrangements 

In my head 

Closing the deal 

In daydreams

Opening up windows 

In closed off closets

Going sailing 

In a landlocked city

Surrounded by walls

I’ve been thinking

A bit too much

I think my mind is knotted up

Even that thought

Pulled more gray matter through

Someday I won’t think so much

When my mind forgets how to remember

And I don’t remember you