Enough

“I didn’t know how to do it”

That’s what I’ll say

When you ask how you turned out that way

I walked on my hands

I carried you through high tide

In the end

It wasn’t enough to make up for everything

I didn’t have to give

I tried

Over and over

And over And

Over again

I honestly didn’t know what all I did wrong

I could mention excuses

But I know people block those out

As the bottom line is all

We use to define

Who we are

Our success

And our great great fall

In this moment I feel weak

I feel broken

Entirely incomplete

But please

In the bottom of your still growing heart

Know every thought found it’s way to you

Knowing how much more I should be

In each shaky step I couldn’t complete

I loved you

I wanted you

In theory

I meant to be enough

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Heaven Exists

Suddenly a light shows up

Forces out all of the pain

That was swollen into the grooves of the bone

Bringing together

A broken frame

Torn apart

By always being thrown away

Hidden by folds in the brain

Understanding mistakes

Were the only way to find out

What was right

Sinking into the valley of your voice

Familiar eyes

So many faces before

But only now

Pulling me in

Holding steady

Longing to find answers

Only to wish I could

Forget

How much I once believed

Heaven exists

Ever Since

I am no longer chasing

Dotted lines

Thinking they create

An entire shape

Knowing uncertainty

Is the purest form of life

As it embodies

What we aim to label

Organize

Section off

Believing small spaces

Can protect us

From an open galaxy

Lashing out

At the idea of existence

Beyond one’s self

I was thrown into this void

I’ve been spinning

Ever since

Between

Stuck in the sediment

Happiness

Breaks free

For a moment

Against all odds

In opposition to the gravitational pull

Of circumstances

Beyond control

Seeing opportunity

Above whispy clouds

Yearning to be

In a place

Unknown

Yet familiar

To simply have the same face

Smiling

Back

Until the moment snaps

Reminders become

Too persistent

Alternate dimensions

Give space

To dreams

And hope

And love

Most of all love

Stuffed in the cracks

Of life’s cruelty

Seen in every unintentional glance

Every slip of honesty

The realness we crave

Where vulnerability mixes with inspiration

I spend most of my time

On a precipice

Found between darkness and light

Warming Up

Stuck in a whirlpool

Of stagnation

Contradictory lives

Intersected

Splitting open

Seamless curves

I want

I need

Still I avoid

Reflecting on blue eyes

Always those blue eyes

Feeling watched

By the trees

Strangers leaning in

Yet

At the same time

Completely unseen

Unrecognized

Unnoticed

As I melt under a

Plastic desk

Made of responsibility

I never sought to control

Wanting to be so much

More than what I am

Muscles ache

Eyes fall heavy

If I could get one ounce of interest from you

I feel I could dance across the sky

Shiny lavender marble

Reflecting ruffles twirling back

Not needing love

Is the lie of our age

A way to scab over open wounds

When we find ourselves alone

Pride

Pride is delicate

See through

Yet incandescent

It can fill up a room

It can destroy continents

It can draw people in

It can isolate a nation

As a child

Pride was in every movement

Every common task

Growing brought disappointment

A constant reminder nothing special could be found

Inside

As eyes spread

And mouths curved away from light

Nothing but tearing away

At each layer

That had been built upon baby soft flesh

Leaving deep grooves under eyes

And pockmarks along cheeks

Tripping oversized feet

Only to feed insecurity

In the most heartless way

Chin rose after each quiver

Picking up paper doll cutouts

To mend splintered emotions

Some people have never been content with

Others being okay

Finding flaws in simple happiness

Was their only way

They created targets

That got used to being shot

Every garden has a winter

The sun is finally being forced out

As roses

Chrysanthemums

And daffodils alike

Demand to be given their chance

To be seen

And worshipped

Before they are collected

To be put on display

A death in adoration

Is better than a life never lived

Chosen

Eyes are folding inward

Calculations go unchecked

Bone density thickens

Muscles shrivel according to context

Fingertips sharpen along the creases

Hair slowly kinks from one end

Trying so hard

Not to be bored

Needing a passion

To exist

To wake up

No follow up rescue required

Why can’t you accept eccentricity

As something to be explored

So much time to waste

No time to spare

Waiting for the sky to open up

Totally unprepared

Melancholy devours cells

Becoming complacent

Sitting on a bench

Muttering to no one

Whatever became of that girl

That girl who threw fists up at the moon

One day she’ll have her recognition

One day they’ll throw her that parade

There was a world of life inside the cage they all rattled

Until the poor dear no longer moved

Life is nothing but choices

But sometimes the options are tainted from birth

Sometimes no one chose you

Hollowed Out Trees

When you spin the world and let it go

You see all the moments

You’ve lived

Come and go

The ones that stand out

Are the ones to embrace

The ones to pin along the inner lining of your rib cage

It’s funny how we spend eternities

In hollowed out trees

Where we dwell in the darkness

If what will never be

Only to miss the awe and wonder

Of the fireflies

Celebrating summer skies

That you can carry

In your open ended imagination

Until you no longer need the

“What if”

Because now is your meaning

Your fulfillment

Coming from each breath

Each shoulder you graze

Each act that has no piece of self

I want to stop needing

To fill a void

I want to start feeling

Broken Skin

Ceramic water

Cools the tongue

Trickling into twisted confusion

Snarled in a dehydrated mind

Fragmented by disillusionment

In everything learned

As a child

About hard work

And pay off

No mention of strategy

And broken hearts

Skewing the lines

Your name was spoken

When I was young

I didn’t know it’s depth

Until it ripped through my eye

Taking shrunken shoulders with its string

No support

For broken skin

Calloused scab

Over the opening to the inner lining of my lungs

Where I first started taking in water

They say to back away

Warning: may cause sudden death

I’ve been walking around with empty veins

Since before the world opened its doors

I see my reflection

But I don’t know its worth

Snag

I have no advice

For dog eared corners

Pour water on the seems

Wait for medicine to make it better

Shout out something obscene

The floor seems to be rising

As walls are closing in

Chest aches

Breathing is hard

People say

Yes

And

No

No consistency of standards

I never wanted to win

I just wanted my head to rest

Somewhere where a heart was beating

Somewhere where something was living

A lot to ask

Crumpled up paper

Find another hollowed out statue

Feelings off

The next one

Will also advise me

How not to fall

Since branches snag

And rip the paper

No one likes that at all

Lists only serve one purpose

And that is to grow