Simmer

I don’t know what heated the water

But it’s boiling over 

I smell sulfur seeping through 

This chaos is internal

And external

And all encompassing 

As my fingers shake 

I was attacked in the night

But nobody cares when 

A burden on society falls victim to an 

Unwarranted fight

Must be her fault again 

Must be a cause

They see trouble

Self preservation in full effect

Too busy now

They have lives of their own 

When buildings fall 

Rubble will be lifted 

An eyesore is not comely 

But the broken bones 

Of those lifted from underneath 

Must heal themselves

Humanity is broken 

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Six Feet Rising

“Six Feet Rising”

You put me in a box

“Shhh, baby, it’s for your own good”

You nail the lid down

“Aren’t you thankful for what I’ve done?”

You lower me into the ground

“Don’t you know how hard this is for me?”

You begin shoveling dirt 

“Everything I do is for you, baby”

Holding my breath 

Looking for seams

Scratching at fabric 

Tearing at loose threads

Wondering why it has to be this way

It doesn’t

Banging on the lid 

“This isn’t help”

Fighting to push through the weight

“I need to breathe”

I may be wrong 

But that doesn’t mean I’m never right 

Counting me out 

When I’ve just started the race 

Breaking both legs

Saying I couldn’t keep up the pace

Help and complete control are two different things

A helping hand comes with a shovel full of dirt 

I can see two paths

Frost would agree

I will take the one that blows through the trees

Let me choose the map

You are not my only source of oxygen

I cry every day

You couldn’t just help me be the best I could be

You wanted an invalid 

I’m done thinking I can’t stand

When my legs are eager

To run across this land

It’s sad

It’s a shame

I don’t even know who is to blame

Evolution

When the water receded 

There was nothing left

Smooth 

Damp

Cold

Sky still grumbling

Clearing its throat

As the sun began 

Operatic display

New beginning

Starting from the shore

Moving up the cliffs

Spreading over roads

Spilling into valleys

Winter

To 

Spring

To 

Summer

Again

Its taste in my mouth

Forgiving

Learning patience

Seeking comfort

To be given away

Empathy enforced

Wanting to improve this world 

Again

I needed to breathe 

Without smoke in my mouth

I needed to feel

Without fingers around my neck

I needed to see 

Without tears in my eyes

Underground 

I learned what I had lost

What I had known 

Before shattered glass

Before insanity

Before the bridge collapsed

There are days where I am me again

Those are the days for which I reach

When I’m stuck in between

Say So

If you want me

Then say so

Don’t throw rocks at the sun

Kicking sand into the water

I held your hand

You crumpled your fingers

Growing takes time

And only happens during certain seasons

When you looked at me

It was summer

Then backs turned 

An ice age spread

Deep 

Deep

Into the now frozen crust of the earth 

Scraping along the edges

I found fossilized memories

That tore open passages

I thought had been destroyed

But I left them

Unexplored

I’ve been down them before

When ivy grew along the walls

Life was felt 

Warmth was certain

I don’t need to go back

Through the Blinds

What happens when light seeps in 

Through the blinds

Between the cracks

Across skin

Uncovered 

Seen from within

Opened up 

Intentions folded

Good and bad

Vulnerable skeleton

Hairline fractures 

Splintering seams 

Trying to bend

To make room 

For chance

And hope

Forgetting momentum is needed to move

With any progress

Sedentary ways create 

Complacent hearts

That forget to seek out contact

For the sake of acceptance 

A longing to be inside someone’s 

Weathered heart

Protected from the harsh conditions of 

Every day life

What happens when light seeps in?

We see the bonds we created at night

Good or bad 

It’s all still there

Gradients of Blue

Sadness 

Is always shared

Sunshine

Is hidden under a pillow

Afraid tomorrow

Won’t be there

Never stopped feeling the loss

Of every overturned car

That could be my ticket

Out of that dusty town

Turned out 

I was my own free ride

Doesn’t stop the loneliness inside

Effects can be seen

In shaky hands 

And doubting eyes

When wisdom brings nothing

But the knowledge of what’s wrong 

Inner workings of a non-stop mind

Always working overtime

Paid at half the wage

Producing nothing

More dangerous than ignorance 

For it is bliss

To not realize you have a deficiency

A lack of skill

In coping 

Pain is a scar that blocks the path 

To self-confidence

Insecurities from being on the outside

Of families

I saw myself in

Hiding behind curtains

Revealing only a longing

Fueled from the inside

Observe and imagine

Glass to separate the connection

Dusting with velvet gloves

Creating worlds that held me 

Where I needed to be 

Hair rising as goosebumps form

Looking into eyes that welcome me in 

I’m in the color of you now

Please don’t fade

Cement Man

There was a man

He lived on cement 

Walls coated with stainless steel

He crushed leaves beneath his feet

And hated the sand

If sidewalks could be covered 

He’d prefer it that way

One day he went for a drive

Off the pavement 

Dust filled the air

He looked straight ahead

Unfazed by the dirt

He has something to do

More important things filled his mind

He turned the wheel with ease

No music filled the void

One mile after the next

Finally 

Through a clearing

The house could be seen

So innocent in its isolation

He parked and slowly but confidently stepped out

He looked down to breathe in

Courage can only be found from within

Breathe out

Time to go in

No knock needed

No intrusion if no one living is home

He saw her brown curls spread across fabric

A hand limply hanging 

A phone on the floor 

Fallen

She had one last task to do 

Check in to see how the day was 

What things each other might be going through 

There was no call that day 

But that was the warning

The sounding of an alarm

A quiet one 

Only heard by one

She may not have had many loves

But she did get a man made of cement to visit her in nature

 

The Accident

It’s the perfect time for an accident

Metal against an open mouth

Peaceful rest 

Inside twisted metal

Curl up next to my disengaged 

Emergency brake

Let your body relax 

Take in the moment

Of forced release

An escape

From the reality 

Of frantically moving

From one destination to the next

I’ll be here to pry you out

Jaws of life

Escaping death

Bruised air bags 

Violent return

I’ll take care of you

Walk with you

Until the repairs are complete

Scar Tissue

I see eyes roll

And people pull away

I hear voices chatter 

Every single day

I hear nothing 

From you 

When all I want 

Is to see 

Your name

Across my screen

Every stranger that lets 

It be known

My family is too much

It can’t be helped

It’s internal

This aversion 

To being with me

You’ve stuck pins

Into my drywall

Holes don’t heal

They just harden

One layer of scar tissue

 At a time

When life feels 

Like such a crime 

 

Bottom of the OceanĀ 

I swam at the bottom of the ocean

When home felt submerged 

I contemplated my existence 

No conclusion 

Short term

I felt uncomfortable with my own 

Thoughts

How low we can go

I let my body drift 

Through murky water 

Lightly filtered music 

All that kept me sane 

Sitting on couches 

Felt like a tomb

Walking in rooms 

With no exit 

I can’t explain that weight

Placed under the skin

Sometimes it’s hard to breathe 

Sometimes a marathon is ran

Thoughts paralyze

And I sit

And I sit

And I sit

Hearing all of the voices 

In my head

Feeling all of the pressure 

Stay in bed

Could break me

It’s hard to tell

All I know

All I see

Are mistakes 

Made 

In a lifetime

I don’t recognize

Now I’m a prisoner

In my own paradigm 

I keep seeing images

I haven’t yet lived

Then wondering why 

That damn bridge 

Keeps breathing my name

The only receiver

You can’t save me

Yet

I can’t do it alone