Grace

Fake strength

Muscles form

Shove past the stagnant sea of people

Seeing every mistake 

Keeping head down

Make an effort to keep moving

Just keep moving

Never stop moving

Muscles atrophy too fast

Smiling at a graceful rejection 

Twists inside the veins 

Sticks in the aorta as spurs branch out 

Open heart surgery

Would be a waste of time

Can’t fix shredded tissue

Coat it with formaldehyde

Hold it in place until this gift 

Of free will

Of life

Of yearning for more

Ceases

He closed both his eyes

Said don’t blame them 

They know not what they do

If He can forgive 

Then so can I

The difference is

I don’t have any grace to give

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Control

Today I lived

A moment was all there was 

Windows down

Breathing in sun

Heart a little down

Smiling at the afterglow

There was something 

Then it left

Can’t hold onto a current

When the sand pulls you down

Can’t make enough out of nothing at all

My control ends outside this skin 

I can pin down the pain

Or let it go

I penned your name into a tree

Carved out that piece of bark 

Threw it into the waves 

They’ll take you away

I’ll see you again someday 

A little more salty

A little more worn 

Maybe you’ll be smiling 

Maybe you’ll swoon

I can’t say

So I’ll forget the part 

Where smiles felt good

Where tomorrow was one day closer

To seeing my way home

Control is limited

Anything outside is liquid

I keep my fingers spread

The End 

It already happened

The earth saw its end

We haven’t caught up to the blast

Eyes are catching a glimpse

Black holes

In the irises 

Colors Don’t last forever

But they glow the brightest

Before they fade

All of the hurt

And all of the worry

Carrying a life’s load of anticipatory pain

Knowing our generation 

Would see its own end

The aftershock shook the hardest

Kicking roadkill for fun

The ocean stopped to listen 

As gravity lost hold

People held on to one another’s hands

Only to be ripped apart

By the salacious wind

Licking flesh from bones

The things we argued over

The time we didn’t spend

The love we didn’t show

The happiness we let go

Darkness is silent

Emptiness eats everything whole

We should’ve learned to hold on

Difficult

Is it a sin

To be 

So 

Broken

You look at me like a crime

I feel it

Burn 

Backs are cold

I was laid in the snow as a newborn

To be prepared

People don’t assimilate that way

Misunderstood

For folding into knees and elbows

Artificial shell

Run away

Run away

You might catch

Feelings 

For something difficult

Don’t dare get caught in something difficult

Breathing is difficult

Moving is difficult

Pretending is difficult

Someday

I’ll not choose you 

Want

I want you to tell me everything

Without tripping over consonants

I want you to ask 

Without moving your lips

I want you to pull me in

Without waiting for quips

I want you to need me 

Without tying rope around wrists

I want you to make me comfortable

Without enveloping sheepskin

I want you to talk to me

Without emptying silence

I want you to see me

Without a reflection from broken glass 

I want you to kiss me

Without covering my eyes 

I want you to love me

Without moving my skin

I want you to revere me 

Without pointing fingers to the ground

I want you to want me

Without wanting more

I want you to

I want you to

I want you to

Echoes in the hardwood floor

There was a girl who made demands once

Now she’s pressed behind a door

Hidden Sunshine

I don’t always know what makes the sun hide its face

Sometimes it gives me fair warning

The weatherman tells me his plans

Other times I’m struck by lightning

While washing my face

My reflection is burnt 

My thoughts unfairly struggle 

Piling one on top of the other

Sorting takes time

Confusing relationships 

With statistics 

Of how often I’m not right

I’ve been confused by interactions 

All of my life

People get tired of explaining what they want

I fall down hard

Folding knees into my chest

Deep breath 

Deep breath

Everything is fine

Hello sunshine

I love when you show up

By surprise

But I hate when you show up alone

Everyone else has gone away

They got tired of my gray

The Big Tire


I fell flat as the world turned round

Saw bits of me falling out

Voices were hushed 

As crazy walked by

Knowing in the back corner

What had happened

What was happening still

As screws began to turn

Loosen their hold

Too much

Too long

People are cruel

As they search 

Forgetting to check

Rubber inhaled into frozen lungs

As oily darkness shielded me 

From being seen

With dirty snow

Soaking into 

Dirty jeans

My love was lost

Before it was found

Death

And existence

Has always been spinning around

As I was scolded

For being born 

Into a sinner’s

Skin

That only did what seemed right

After evil had locked all the doors 

I never asked for this

Simmer

I don’t know what heated the water

But it’s boiling over 

I smell sulfur seeping through 

This chaos is internal

And external

And all encompassing 

As my fingers shake 

I was attacked in the night

But nobody cares when 

A burden on society falls victim to an 

Unwarranted fight

Must be her fault again 

Must be a cause

They see trouble

Self preservation in full effect

Too busy now

They have lives of their own 

When buildings fall 

Rubble will be lifted 

An eyesore is not comely 

But the broken bones 

Of those lifted from underneath 

Must heal themselves

Humanity is broken 

Six Feet Rising

“Six Feet Rising”

You put me in a box

“Shhh, baby, it’s for your own good”

You nail the lid down

“Aren’t you thankful for what I’ve done?”

You lower me into the ground

“Don’t you know how hard this is for me?”

You begin shoveling dirt 

“Everything I do is for you, baby”

Holding my breath 

Looking for seams

Scratching at fabric 

Tearing at loose threads

Wondering why it has to be this way

It doesn’t

Banging on the lid 

“This isn’t help”

Fighting to push through the weight

“I need to breathe”

I may be wrong 

But that doesn’t mean I’m never right 

Counting me out 

When I’ve just started the race 

Breaking both legs

Saying I couldn’t keep up the pace

Help and complete control are two different things

A helping hand comes with a shovel full of dirt 

I can see two paths

Frost would agree

I will take the one that blows through the trees

Let me choose the map

You are not my only source of oxygen

I cry every day

You couldn’t just help me be the best I could be

You wanted an invalid 

I’m done thinking I can’t stand

When my legs are eager

To run across this land

It’s sad

It’s a shame

I don’t even know who is to blame

Inner Peace

It hurts 

When all I do is 

Think

And think

And think

Simplicity becomes complex 

When tasks become compounded

Leisure becomes diluted 

Overlooked by obligation and responsibility

We don’t prepare ourselves 

For the colors 

In between 

Right and wrong 

Red

Black

The deepest of blues

Then we see a blade of grass

Bent 

Yellow along its sides

Smell of life

The opportunity

The gift

These problems are man-made

Breathe in deep

Today I create peace 

The world continues to violently spin