If I had to guess 

I’d say 

I died at 23

A few years

After finding out 


In songs are


To so many 

Who sing along


Finding out love is fake

Even when your heart 

Pumps out of your chest


Realizing family is turbulence

Sold separately 

Based on convenience


Our friendships are empty

Once fingers are pointed

Disgusted with flaws

That remind us

How insignificant we are


After a while

We follow a path


Advancements in lives we never wanted to live 

Wedding dresses that aren’t even our size

Pretty clean cars that go faster than we need

We drive them back and forth

Just to feel like we’re moving 

Like maybe we’re alive

Like maybe we’re not just spinning out of control

On a rock that happened to catch a place in the universal line that lets life carry on thinking it matters 

When clearly 

How we treat each other

Is confusing 

At best

Shoulder to shoulder

But forever alone

Like we don’t give a damn

If every single person

Were hurled into space

As long as our own seatbelt is fastened

And we can afford our highlights that hide the gray and facials that hide the wrinkles

Because even money can’t escape death

When I died I forgot 

Why it was 

I always wanted to be alive

To feel


In every circumstance

Now we drown ourselves in any substance 

That helps us escape

Realizing we are not who we wanted

And even worse

No one wants to stand next to us holding our hand

As the universe implodes

And love 

In its mysterious unobtainable form

Is all there is

But it will never accept you

As you are

So I died 

And I live

Each day as required 

I love when I must 

And feel when forced

But I realize 

And I speak truth when I say

All of it fades away


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