Gritty and Soft

It was a place

And I lived in it

I covered myself with the ashes from it

I bathed in sorrow

Involuntary

Not self pity magnified

A parasite

Latched onto my spine

Steered me to my final destination

You saved me

You didn’t even know

The same one that kicked the pebble 

That started an avalanche

You responded to me

And I smiled

I was still alone

In this place

Most authentic 

With pastel colors I could feel 

In the grooves of my fingerprints 

Gritty and soft 

Like clay

I cried by myself 

Surrounded 

I wept at God’s feet

On a structure built by men

Not the first to make the journey

Not the first to leave 

Mission incomplete 

In the holiest way

I woke up in San Francisco 

And discovered a piece of my strength

It was buried beneath a father’s disappointment 

Beneath society’s indifference 

Beneath your lack of trying

I am nothing in the eyes of the world

But this world is only a speck in my eye

I get to to rise each morning

And march across its soil

I get to enjoy its gifts 

With sweet strawberries 

And bitter mustard seeds

I get to discard its mess

One satisfactory speck of dirt at a time

I get to decide what pieces to carry with me

As I engrave them into stone

On the walls of my house

That remains unweathered 

In its portable state

At my weakest point 

I found my solid strength

At a moment that nearly surrendered to death

I found the vivid map to life

I pity the man who walks through life unchallenged

What colors he won’t see

What horribly glorious feelings his calloused hands will never feel

I feel it all in ultra violet 

Send out a signal for all to see

If you can reach me

I’ll be sitting here 

Waiting to share 

Technicolor adventures 

With you by my side

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