Until

Breathing

Moving 

Keep on going

You don’t understand 

You half souled creature 

Just like the rest

You feel you deserve 

Peace

And love

That will come easily

But I know

It doesn’t happen that way

We are lucky to be alive

To be able to exist

Sinners in the hands of an angry God

Nothing special

No guarantee

Just an existence 

And an end

But I was given 

A heart

That overflows

Feels with every branch of my veins

A heart attack when it was poked in the past

But now

Yanked from its cage

I watch it beating on the floor

Feel every pulse

Unable to move

You just keep going 

I’m in a 

Catatonic state 

Unable 

To maintain an acceptable demeanor

The world is imploding

The only lifeboat was taken by chimpanzees 

That decided they needed it more

More civilized in their treatment of one another 

Grooming each other

Out of evolutionary need

I am not easy to love

I am a problem the world wants to forget

Sweep under the rug

Uncomfortable to see me outside your window as you eat your sourdough toast

You ask if I’m okay 

To feel better

But you keep going without waiting for a response

This is desperation in its most unattractive state 

Too much at once

Too many pieces

Like my mind that is fragmented into crash scene intersections 

All red lights are flashing

I should say 

I will be strong 

And keep going on

Which I will

Because that’s how we are designed 

Until we’re not

 

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