Exulansis

“Exulansis: the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it” – John Koenig’s Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

I’ve stood outside stone walls built out of conformity several times in my life

There was no effort to throw down a rope ladder

Or extend the draw bridge

I was outside

That was very clear

I’ve been caught 

Talking to myself

Out loud

Trying to run through 

explanations 

Of why events took place

Why options were limited

Why my life wasn’t as perfect

As you so clearly saw it could have been

With broken windows

Cuts and bruises

Children crying in the street

None of this should have happened

Because all you have to do is work hard

And pray

Well, I’ve been on my knees

Talking to God 

But he lays burdens on people’s shoulders 

That he loves the most

People He wants to use to see the invisible

I see you building up walls again

Shutting people out

Because they didn’t follow the formula

Despite not having the same ingredients as you

I see them standing there

Talking to themselves

Out loud

Trying to explain

I can’t imagine what lives they have lived

But I’ve talked to God 

And I can’t communicate what He said 

At least not in words you’re willing to hear

Because a lot of times we confuse definitions 

Of who people are 

Making good intentions

Dirty words

That symbolize hypocrisy 

Instead of the most giving of loves ever shown

I know I’m not the only one crying 

There is a reason

The drought is almost gone

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