Kuebiko

“Kuebiko: a state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence” – John Koenig’s Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
I have felt a hand around my throat

I have been fearful for my existence

I have felt pain from words that were meant to puncture the skin and leak their venomous tip into my veins

I was not in a battle zone

I was not in a forgotten war-torn country

This violence is next door

It is in the bedroom

It is in our neighborhoods

Burrowed beneath normalcy

And fake facades

It changed me

Inevitably

Accidental caresses

Feel like brutal collisions

Passing in a hall

In a grocery store

At a library

My metal defenses go up

Turning

Ready to fire back

The confusion that meets me 

Reminds me

This hostility is not normal

It is not necessary

It is the symptom of a dog that has been beaten

Yes a dog

An animal

A loyal friend 

Who has the least amount of evil intentions on earth

Yet is kicked and punched and set ablaze

For entertainment 

For a release of anxiety 

I am tired

I am exhausted

From the memory 

Of so much pain

Memories are lost for a reason

Why do some stick to the creases in the brain like unwanted plaque? 

I will floss tonight

And spit out this aftertaste 

Of betrayal 

And broken flesh

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