Mauerbauertraurigkeit

“Mauerbauertraurigkeit: the inexplicable urge to push people away; even close friends you really like” -John Koenig’s Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

You said those words
One

Two

Three

You to me

Love between

I didn’t return them

Not right away

Not because they weren’t felt

But I had to figure it out

Ask myself how

Could it be

That you could sincerely mean

What you said

It made me mad

Now I’d have to let you down

What else could be next

Disappointment

Broken promises

Growing resentment

That’s the love I’ve seen

So I smiled and nodded

Left my thoughts under cover

Avoided seeing your face for a while

You never faltered or missed a beat

You followed me slowly

While pacing your steps

I let my thoughts wrestle around

Pointing and judgments

Found insecurities to reprimand

I saw you

After a while

Eyes like home

You stood there and smiled

Purity is the love you emanated

As you kissed my neck

I evaporated

All doubt was gone

I saw myself as I was being seen

Never felt more wholly beautiful

“I love you too”

I meant what I said

I don’t have to ask

I know you did too

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