Trying

It’s burning

A hole

Through the crust

This dusty surface

That is layered with bedrock 

So solid not a sliver of light has been seen 

Cowering in the corner

I thought the earth had spun

Out of orbit

Out of favor

Out of sight of God

I keep trying

To pull it all together

Tie the shoelaces up 

Nice and pretty 

In a bow

I am tired

More 

I am exhausted

More 

I am under the earth that 

Covers my fight

To stay above

And ahead

And on par

With all that you’ve said

I am lesser than you

Or so you think

I run twice as fast

I work twice as hard

I think twice as much

I love in an abundance that cannot be multiplied

But still I am not enough

So I throw my body forward

Crawl on the ground

Make myself move in ways animals don’t understand

I try to keep my sweat

Under the cotton

As I hide my struggle 

That can be heard through paper walls

As I cry on my floor

Trying to see a reason 

For tomorrow

Go go go

I know I don’t have a right

Given a gift

Given a life

Given beauty 

In little hands

And little eyes

I try to see it

But I need someone

To see me 

And what I’ve done

As something more 

Than making up

For time wasted 

I was lost 

Wandering 

In a dark garage 

Trying to follow moths to the light

But I finally realized 

Daddy doesn’t care

And I’m not going to sit

And wait for you

On dusty leather seats

In the frame of a car

Call it off

I’m standing up

Spotlight on cement 

You are my teacher

And I’ve learned that falling is hard

I always get back up

Because bruises are prettier than tattoos because they fade

And let us forget

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