Could Have Been

Seeing fragments of reality

Dangerously piecing them together

Forced to fill in the cracks with false hope

Believing a perfect portrait could be completed

Am 

A

Fool

I only see it when it’s quiet

Which is rare

But it freezes time

Stretches it out 

Plays with it like pulling taffy

Memories

Bits and pieces

Over and over and over

Imagining what could have happened after 

In a perfect world 

In a utopian world

In a world that doesn’t exist

I torture myself with possibility

In a state no one wants to claim

The most pathetic state of all

I don’t know why

Having another person places us into a ranking of high regard

I suppose if no one loves us 

We are not deserving of love

Here I sit 

Pushing away suitable suitors 

In hope of something that is not solid that is not attainable that is not visible in this dimension 

I’ve brought this on myself 

But I don’t know why it’s you I can’t get off my mind when I’ve had men open doors 

Listen to my thoughts

Care what is going to happen next 

Am 

Fool

Craving empty texts 

And arms around my waste 

I loved the way 

You

Could have been

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