Mighty Tree

This is something 

That came from my chest

As I heaved in air 

And puffed out pride

I built it

And protected it 

The way only a woman could 

The way ignorant men despise

In the safety of my womb 

That carried two lives

But we dare not glorify 

The greatest job of all

Lest we squash it 

And begin to feel bad

Running head first into what I use to avoid 

Not out of conceit

But a burning need to set things right 

Turn the world on its axis by at least half a degree

So the tropics get snow

And the polar bears get a tan

So stubborn feet can thaw 

And lovers can wake in each other’s arms

I did this all for you

But it worked out so well

I titled myself 

And got a certificate

Changing the world 

Being the best I could be

Not all of us will agree

But let’s at least be branches on the same mighty tree

Airtight


What happens when wrong is right 

Everything I want is wrapped up in something I can never have

But it dangles before me

Hanging from a string 

As I run lap after lap trying to be fit enough to catch it

In the end it was a decoy

Made out of plastic

Like your heart

You showed me once

Then sealed it back up

Airtight seal

No way of getting in 

Being the liquid I am

That pours between your fingers

As you dream of me 

Reach for me

Feeling nothing 

Remembering you didn’t want me

There 

To hold you

Back

From all of your momentous potential 

That you squander on trying too hard

I want to say it

I want to sing it

I want to scream it 

In all of the glorious

Agony it gives me  

I will never be able to turn you away

Despite knowing 

You will never let me in

A Fool’s Smile

I can’t even

Not now 

Not now

Words

Are

Evaporating

As I smile

An uncontrollable smile

An idiot’s smile

A fool’s smile

This has never been controlled 

Or contained

As it could never be

Wildfire spreading from cell to cell

As I sit and think

Replay in my mind

How can something so burning

So beautiful

So bright

Bring such devastation

Yet I walk right into it

Numb to the trap’s bite

Pretending I’ve outgrown sorrow and sadness

But it will surely bring me to my knees 

When like before

It becomes as much nothing

As it was before

Getting Inside

It’s not right

It’s not okay

Showing up

Sneaking away

I’ve never lied

Or kept things from you

Including my feelings

And what it is I expect from you

You do what you want

Come and go

Pretend words weren’t sent 

That tore open my soul

I’m not even upset with you

Which chills my bones

Knowing there’s a reason we feel fire

Without senses our bones would be bare

Like unprotected homes that let everything inside 

They seem like a good idea until we wake with a tiger beside our bed

You can’t outrun bad intentions

Having no intentions at all is even worse

So I’m boarding up this house 

Sealing up the windows

You might be able to get in for a while

But if you don’t decide to make it your home

You will forever be locked out in the cold

Permanent


I have something to say 

And I’m going to say it loud

I hope you try

Send a pigeon

Peace on a branch

Olives and all

I will see it and smile

Because now I get 

To tell you what I’ve always wanted

I’ve got experience

Life on my side

I didn’t do it alone

But my God, I stretched every muscle to 

It’s greatest extent 

Until fibers began to tear

My view is seaside 

My free time is spent 

In caves 

That hide buried treasure

You seek me out from the desert

But I’m not the same bendable being

That feels so small

Even if this all goes away

I know you

Have no honor

My time will not be wasted finding out

Why you left me 

When the storm was swallowing us all up

You went your way

I went mine

I checked in

And you told me to stay on my side

Of the road 

Of the tracks

Of the glorious path

But you ended up in the dirt

While I found sand 

That lets the water greet it

Each day

With the promise of renewal

And redemption 

You silly fool

Feeling virtuous in doing 

What was “right”

Being unfaithful to a friend is a crime

That doesn’t get erased

Just a speck


Sometimes you have to say it

Embarrass yourself with the nonsense of it

Out loud

In the middle of the street

Before you can let it go

Find yourself crying 

Like a little child with a popped balloon

Wishing you could just go home and 

Watch the flames

Contained in the fireplace

With a short chimney

Puffing out smoke 

Into the city

That cries out in pain 

Having held it all in 

Until it all broke loose

Not knowing who to blame

Or why you feel empty

Or why old memories 

Flash through your mind

At random moments

When you don’t invite them

Or seek them

Or claim they’re still alive

Sometimes you pretend it doesn’t hurt 

Until you know you can survive 

And sometimes lost dogs 

Find their way home

Hope and faith

Just a pinch

Just an ounce

Just a speck

Sits 

And waits

To be enough

Nothing to my Everything


I’ve heard stories

Of trees

And caves

And jagged little pills

That scrape along the edges

As they warm people’s toes

I’ve seen lives rise and fall

As money is made

I’ve tripped and been hit in the head

By love that wasn’t mine to have

I’ve seen eyes lose their life and 

Mouths moving without sound

I’ve watched men beat each other down

And lovers learning to hate

I’ve questioned existence 

And asked why

Simply and humbly

Why

The voices are silent 

As they force water down in the shape of a droplet that doesn’t make a sound

Until one day it does hitting the earth with as much force as a bullet aimed for your heart

What does this rambling mean?

I’m trying to think of awful things

To not remember how wonderful it was

Feeling your veins pulse

Imagining you changing your mind

Temporary would become permanent

Once in a while would become all the time

I try to understand the folds in wrinkles 

Just to not think of your smile

You left me with a text

Just to say 

What a dirty pretty thing I was

You are nothing to my everything

Holy Judgment


We could be transparent

Let our thoughts flow

Uninhibited by expectations

Accepting a person 

For what they believe 

Speak through differences

Make collages of what makes us unique

The earth could turn 

Hearts could grow

Truth could be spoken 

Reason could be king

Hand in hand 

Smiles conjoining 

But Lennon beat his wife 

And Woody married his kid

There’s no moral compass when 

We turn a blind eye

Throwing out unfounded judgements 

Is just as damning 

Romans 3:23 

There is no other way

Should we just stop and wait for

Holy judgment 

Or should we try

And figure out why

Lift up those who have fallen

Instead of shooting them at the wall

Being the best you can today

Is all we can hope and pray

Don’t throw rocks

And sticks

And bombs 

When someone got it wrong

At the same time know 

We all go down without heaven 

Just like a sad sad song 

When your heart feels anything but strong

 

Phone Call


I had a dream

You called

From a blank space

I showed up 

Avoiding your eyes 

That never left my skin

We laughed 

Drinking wine 

From a mug

You kept on the desk

You told me your politics

And I told you

You were wrong

It made you want to kiss me

So I tilted my neck

Closed my eyes 

I woke up alone

Checking my phone 

In the dark

Luminescence

From the loneliness

Of a device

That reminds me

You don’t try 

To want me

Anymore

I still don’t know

Why

And it is that void

Of not knowing

That follows me

As I smile 

At a nice gentleman 

Buying me dinner

Trying to appreciate what IS 

Instead of calculating when I last saw you

And what you wore

And how you smelled

My god, you smelled like heaven

The way only Lucifer could

How many days until I will not want 

To hear you say “come over”

How many nights until I will not wake up 

To check my phone

Charm and Mayhem


Charm and mayhem

I don’t do this well

Playing coy

Being a coquette 

One…

Two…

Three…

We move through the steps

A city of lights 

Bathing in my sense of adventure

I stand and let the waves take a guess 

What could become 

What could fade away 

The absence of a kiss may mark its way

I wish 

I pray

Thoughts of hands 

And feet 

And eyes wide open 

Wouldn’t get in the way

Can a body find a path 

When the door is still open to a time that scarcely happened? 

Time and time alone 

Will give 

Or take