Feeling Dirt


Just know

I’m feeling

I can’t speak

Knowing 

What 

Will

Come 

Of 

This

I’m breathing and day dreaming 

In rose petal fonts

I’ve tried hard not to

I know it’s crushing

And binding

And not worth my emotions

Returning like a bad cold

That feels like spring

In all of its empty promises and over exaggerated glory

Always mistaking “goodbye”s for “hello”s

I will fight to not fall victim to this again

Waiting to be wanted back

I’ve been in that line all of my life 

Locking myself in the cellar until this storm passes

I will collect every misplaced speck of dirt

Hoping to find pieces of you

That I can set on a shelf until you return

Every time pretending to be colder

Every time making more room in my heart

Until one day you don’t come back 

And my fingers whither around the phone

That doesn’t hear from ghosts that never really existed

Because in the end what did we really ever have?

The sad truth; absolutely everything

And we sent it to the moon

On a shuttle with no fuel

Still floating in space 

Forever entangled 

Forever lost 

Forever isolated 

In its momentary perfection 

 

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