This is not what I wanted
This is not what I was told it would be like
Playing games
Of hide and seek
With tethered hearts
That swing around playfully
Until they realize they might be caught and then retreat back home
As if they never felt anything at all
Whispers in the morning
Talking to myself
Trying to remember every detail
Pieces are clues to what may have been felt
Since lips no longer tell the truth
Not even when they say, “I don’t want to be with you”
Because we need to feel tortured thinking
That staying will be too hard
So Instead we inject ourselves with Cabernet
Until we clumsily stumble into delicate situations that will leave us bleeding out on the bathroom floor once the liquid is gone and our senses have returned reminding us how much we need to be held by someone who knows who we really are
We all started out innocent until
One day that person we thought was ours Was someone else’s
That’s when we started finding comfort in numbers never letting ourselves rely on just one
Because it is so much easier to lose it all
When all the china is in one cupboard
Done dancing in a line
I stand up on the wall
Do you see me?
I’m ready to let myself fall
