Better Day


Tiny explosions under the skin

As I transition from the lowest low

To the highest high

Undocumented 

Miscalculated

I’ve tried grabbing this mixture that creates happiness

But the invisible cure is like sand in my hand

As I sing to the heated fingers of daylight that caresses my rose petal skin

I wonder why today looks so much more glorified

I put my feet on the floor in the same way

I didn’t love someone any more or less

Carpe diem was not on my to-do list 

I’ve been told (in raised voices) 

That this is a choice

I must make an effort to not let my emotions trail off into the dark recesses of an abyss that can not be escaped as it fills up with water

But there are days where I wake up at the bottom and the water is already pouring into the open cavity

Your rope ladder is simply not enough at that point

I’ve said “I’m sorry”

But I don’t know if that should need to be said

Since I didn’t do this to you

But it’s you who have turned your head

I know it’s hard to be a comforter when 

The pain seems unreal and the monster has no name 

But it looms over my bed at night and flips a coin deciding whether or not to refrain

I know there are circumstances

That can make it better or worse

But sometimes it is a mouse trap and the first switch has been flipped

I’ll write this down to remind myself I’m not crazy when I want to walk off the edge

I wish you would also try to understand

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