Jane Doe


There she was

Lifeless 

Left to be seen

Found

But never heard

She couldn’t tell what it was like

She couldn’t describe the pain

The fear

The shock

She was an open book with no words on the page

Others would come and fill in the blanks

Over exaggerate 

Over glorify the wrong things

Crudely understate the things she really held dear

They would force tears even if they didn’t come on their own

Because that is what we do in the face of tragedy

We force our overly stimulated hearts that have become numb from the shock and awe to exhibit true emotions that are as true as the promises made by politicians during an election

She wouldn’t care that some of her friends didn’t show up

She wouldn’t care that it took them so long to find out she was gone

She wouldn’t care that they mispronounced her name 

But it would cause her to cry tears even behind pearly gates to know that no one really understood her

How she craved the light of the moon

How she wanted to fade into the picturesque mountain view 

How she wanted to be a mother

How she desired to be loved 

How she felt seduced by sound

How she wrote her inner most feelings that would explain it all in a tiny red journal that would be tossed with the things members of her family decided didn’t matter

A lifeless body

A pile of flesh colored skin 

Tarnished with bruises, blood, and other unsightly clues to the crime

Would it be wrong to think of her here 

In a place that seemed so perfectly her home

The Art of Debate


How can these beautiful examples ofcartography 

Come out so jumbled once they exit my lips

It waltzed with logic

I mastered the art of logos

I had a strategic attack towards every point you would inevitably shoot my way as shards of glass

But my mouth opened

Insecurity fumbled its way out 

Over an immovable tongue that was numb

From the ice of not believing I could be as good

Let alone

Better than you

Not the point

It is simply fact

It is rhetoric

It is discourse

It is information we crave 

Or is it?

Is it simply wanting to communicate effectively

Is it simply finding truth

Or is it self-worth

Importance of being

A proud mind

Backed by a passionate heart

That makes us feel worthy of the air we force into our lungs

Let us take this in deeper

Pause to consider

Kiss the tulips with ponderous lips 

As we fall back on a blanket of uncertainty

Opening a book

Filling our minds 

With thoughts of others

Until we finally scramble up the courage

To face the battle of words again

For one day we will be able to fight beyond pen and paper

One day our tongue will be as sharp as the pen that is running out of ink from writing too many brilliant thoughts with a little too much pressure

But until we learn to scrape off surface insults 

Make room for substantial facts 

That could win any debate 

Confidence that would bring Tigers to their knees

We will continue to just be people who watch and critique

Bursting with opinions worthwhile

13th Floor


Up 

Rising one step at a time

Down

Falling gracefully out of line

Up

Getting closer to being alright

Down

Feeling too much weight; I could break

Up

This is too good to be real

Down 

Forgetting to read between the lines

Up

Making it all fit together so that each cog moves

Down 

One of the pieces was broken, time to tear it all apart
Failing to notice I was several stories up

Not realizing how far I had come

Being thrown from the rooftop skewed my perspective

So for every three steps up, I took one back

I’ve made it to the 13th floor

Most don’t get to roam these halls

Public access denied

But I see apparitions of what has been done

who was at fault

How it was made right 

Once they notice my presence they stop their procedures

Waiting for recognition towards completion

So I nod in approval

Of crimes already committed

Open heart surgery 

To stop the hurt

No anesthesia, so the patient writhes in pain

But like a hole in the head the pressure is a relieved

A sigh of relief

I’ve seen enough 

I don’t need it to be explained

The pain is necessary 

And the methods are not to be beheld

I tape off the floor

Scrape off “13” with my teeth

I don’t plan on passing by here again

I will continue 

Going up, up, up 

And then down

But 3 minus 1 is still 2

Someday I’ll see you at the top

And we’ll see who falls down

Because there is quite a difference between standing and climbing 

Unlike you, my muscles have not had a chance to atrophy

Martyr


This will be the end 

Of all that was

You can bathe in your delusional righteousness 

Hold on to your superstitious version of religion that you use like a voodoo doll

Cower in the corner like a victim

But I will not be made a monster by you

Not when you beat me into this mutated shape

You are a wrecked shell of a person

Who only finds satisfaction in misidentifying abusers

Go tell it on the mountain, dearest

I hope everyone hears your cries

Because it is only in your lunacy 

The world can see the darkness in your eyes

Raised by an alligator and a piranha

Did we really stand a chance? 

Your facade of martyrdom will only hold so far

I’m done helping you glue those pieces together

If I drown trying to battle these waves in order to get away from you

It will be a worthwhile death

Problem Solver


Wishing I could keep my mouth shut

Wishing I could solve problems like a grown up

When there’s nothing there

You have to learn to play pretend

Then imagination becomes a habit

As you retreat into fantasies of what could be

And what might have been

That cause asphyxiation 

Of the logical mind

Making life’s decisions with a coin toss

Wondering why it’s all going wrong

If only the paths hadn’t diverged… 

If only it didn’t feel so rocky

If 

Only

Eyelids are heavy with the sands of responsibility that itch when scratched

And it is not becoming to look so raw

Cover up your blemishes and tell them this is who you are

Beautiful

And perfect

Logical

And wise

Once the record has been scratched 

They won’t care why

Blending in with the other flaws

That sound so good with time

Maybe I can turn this around

If only I had the time

Topsy Turvy 


Topsy turvy

Everything upside down

Hair standing on end

As I see the world for what it is

Going through the emotions so many times

A circle of excitement 

Following its path to letdown

Always coming back around

Faces stare

Unsure how to respond

Their lives are stationary 

And it might seem appealing 

To me it seams stale

To stand in the same place 

Adding rooms in the attic 

To hold more things

That will end up in yard sales

Broken in dumpsters

Collecting tears from the mites

That build families inside

I’m not here to judge you

I’m just painting pictures of what I see

So many people are looking past 

People

Focused on money

And power

And objects

And all of the things that don’t hold souls

And will fade

Sooner than the rain

As the metal begins to rust

Slipping

Away

Into

Dust

Dirt


Sweeping all of your dirt under a rug

Afraid it will cause a storm

But I wear my mistakes as ornaments in my hair

Not easy to cover up

One violet 

One forget-me-not

That are beautiful in their grace

But require meticulous care to maintain 

It is not always how it appears

And my smooth edges 

Have been sanded down

Or covered up by plastic 

That makes it hard to breathe

So forgive me if I stare 

But I find beauty in your scars

When you pull back the bandages 

You no longer need

I’ll look you in the eye when you’re ready

Host


It’s not always something that comes easily

A delicate dance that ends in destruction

Looking for a hole in the fence

But when it’s electric

Does it even matter 

Waiting for the bottom to fall out

Spilling my hidden emotions 

Like confetti 

That will blow away as you whisper my name

I can’t hear you

But that’s what you want 

Because it’s easier to be numb 

I wish I could learn how to do that

Wearing my heart on my sleeve is too easy

I wear it on my lips

It is not only shared through a kiss

But as I speak

As I breathe

My heart is airborne and it is searching for

A host

Rebirth 


Thawing from a deep freeze

Soggy leaves turning vibrant green 

As they crisp in the daylight 

That was exhumed by your smile 

That you hide from pictures

Fearing they might capture

The softness that is in your eyes

Pulling me forward as the back door shuts

Turn the sun down so I can embrace all 

You hold in your chest

As it beats full of force

That bends the trees as they cower in fear 

Knowing a storm is coming

But how beautiful it looks after the rain 

As the flowers open up 

Refreshed

Loved

Cared for as they should have always been

The rebirth is coming 

It will blind the sadness 

That had cast a shadow over blue eyes

A Wall


Calmly trying on new faces

Undoing the stitches isn’t what hurts

Not recognizing my own reflection 

Causes confusion and vertigo

Clearly this is bigger than praying for me

I need to be embraced as we plunge off the cliff 

That is as unforgiving as your patience with 

This never ending situation

Human kind is selfish and asks for a one sided kiss

That promises I’ll be there tomorrow

But you give no guarantee

Refusing to address the issue that would 

Ask for you to sacrifice your never ending loneliness (aka freedom) to be a part of 

A rocky life that promises astonishing views from the top

My back hurts from carrying this home 

To the top as stones are thrown at my face 

On the way up

Because no one likes looking at pain

It reminds them of what they are covering up with healthy lifestyles

Engagement rings

White picket fences

Perhaps if we built a wall we could put everyone

Who hasn’t covered up their hemorrhaging 

With gold plated cuffs

On the other side 

We could take the resources they were 

Sucking from our rivers into swimming pools 

Lined with gold

Decorated with oleanders that

Resemble our own human nature

Passive aggressive

This world is exhausting 

And my hands are shaking

Let me sew on this smile so you don’t feel so bad