Bleeding Heart

I feel so privileged to have known so many men

Who were the exemplary example of a perfect other half

 

To the woman before me

 

Never to be tricked into that again

I have been reminded by brown eyes, blue eyes, black eyes, and green eyes

That I will not be placed on that pedestal

We may continue on

Or not

Indifference is the only emotion I’ve ever gotten out

Of a fine young gentleman

All of the other girls broke their hearts

 

I love open ended

With my soul pouring out

I don’t know how to do it any other way

I devote myself to his skin and hope he will let me in

 

This has never happened

Even when I carried his child for 9 months

3 weeks 4 days and 7 hours

Twice

 

It is not my fault

And surely not theirs

What could I expect?

What would I do if someone had broken my heart?

I would close myself up for 365 days times 3

Then throw myself back onto the busy highway of dating

Like roadkill waiting to be scraped off the asphalt

 

Two broken legs

A bleeding lung

Bruises all over

I’d hope to be loved

As I cracked my heart open

 

Silly girl

Did you not hear me?

They’ve all been broken

They can’t love anymore

You wouldn’t understand their pain

Of being left for another

Not being good enough

Not being wanted

You will never be that girl that stole their heart

You were too gentle and then too mean

Wanting them all to yourself

What is wrong with you that you think

You can demand commitment

They didn’t mean to make you feel cheap

But they were clear

They DON’T want

YOU

 

Have you ever seen a bleeding heart plant?

It’s beautiful

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