Revisiting Memories for a Ghost 


Revisiting memories for a ghost

What would you say? 

Did I keep to myself too much  

My hands shaking and my voice cracking 

Making excuses for the way my feet clumsily shuffled

I do ballet in the living room, but when

Eyes appear from the walls

My muscles freeze up 

My feet no longer able to move

Trying not to offend the coffee table 

Did I frown too much

Always deep in thought trying to work things out 

Trying to avoid the inevitable errors that occur when walking into a space that is controlled by people who don’t care if your number is written off the page

Even in my happiness

I tried to keep it hidden 

Since no one else seemed to smile that way

Did I give too little 

Trying to scrape up scraps from the cement 

Hoping you wouldn’t mind if I sat next to you while you ate

Never knowing when the rug was going to be pulled out from under

As you said, if I had just trusted God

And kept my eyes on helping others my roofless home wouldn’t feel so cold 

Did I expect too much

Thinking fathers would want to hold their children 

Friends would want to talk 

And family could guide you as you were blinded without commenting on every misstep 

If I were to reflect back on a life that I’ve lived

I’d be glad it’s not over

I’d be glad I still have time to dance

Time to smile

And time to expect more

Most of all I’d be glad I get to show you what I’m here for

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