Unseen 


I will never close my eyes

Never more than ordinary

In a world

Of peacock feathers 

Cars lined with neon lights

Dresses split down the sides

I was raised amongst statues

Encouraged to see myself in paintings

But reality was written in Braille  

Homes settled in the dark

Traditions are created in isolation

Never asked to step away from unstable cliffs

Emojis of solidarity were met with absent invitations

For if there is anything technology has given us

Is the ability to be artificially there

Artificially felt

Artificially comforted

Save your text checking in

I need hands 

And arms

And legs 

Stapled to my seems

This world is full of people

Not a single one sees me

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Hurt Most

Following currents

Souls find their way home

Listening to songs of the sea

Hearing “I love you” 

In the background

Following sand 

To a place that was home

Now rubble

Now ashes

Now blown away gone

Mothers are vengeful

Fathers are disgusted

How could we turn out any other way

Trying to find open arms

With so many bandages covering open wounds

Sting of salt 

Covers

Bitter rejection

A society 

Of checked boxes 

Plans followed through

What hurt most 

Was I really loved you

Conversation

You’re an asshole 

And I loved it

Shaking with the knowledge 

That I blocked head on traffic for you

This is the problem

Setting standards 

Too low

Way 

Too low

Where snakes learn to crawl 

Bellies in the dirt 

Apple bitten

This can’t be all my fault

Waiting ten years to ruin your name

Scream, girl, scream

When the “No” doesn’t stop anything 

It’s more complicated than that

Low self-esteem

Power 

Control

We’ve never not played this game

Show me a girl

Who hasn’t been in a corner

I’ll show you a girl

Who never knew failure

Eyes look down

When accounts are made

Why have we been silent

Why are we destroying each other

Building broken people on top of broken people 

Throwing body parts on the top of the heap

How is it you always win

In your apartment

In your car 

In your circle of friends

How do monsters come out with crowns 

Golden statues to place on a shelf

Don’t you dare scream victim over a vapid Tweet

Diminish the event being overly correct in the most political way

There are real battles being fought 

Tied up on train tracks

Stand up for the girls that didn’t understand

The cries of now knowing

What manipulation is

There must be a process

There must be accountability 

Don’t underestimate intuition

A bad man is a bad man 

No matter his stage

How do we heal

What do we seek

Let the conversation begin

Indifference

What did I take Always keeping pieces of you with me

To remind me

To make me

Feel

Connected

In an empty space

That caters to over-thinking

Dark 

Dark

Indifference

To losing

Edges of sharp angles

Pin prick at the bottom of the heart

I dipped you in honey 

Sweet on the outside 

You had to get away 

Rose petal sunset

Take me away

Faith

Hit the bottom

Fell right through

The other side had much less room

For thoughts of maybes and what ifs

I had to fight my way through cobwebs of steel

Entangling my doubts and fears

Slowly placing feet onto damp concrete

I saw men standing 

In all of the corners

By all of the exits

By all of the boarded up windows

I took time

Studied each guard

Checking for weakness

Checking for the right time to charge

Chin slowly rising

They prepared for attack

Arms and legs 

Positioned for battle

I smiled 

As wings quickly spread

I don’t play that way

Solid and white

Pure and graceful

They lifted my feet off the ground

Guns were drawn

Triggers were pulled 

I can’t explain how I got from 

Down there

To up here

Faith is a curious thing

War of the Roses

Bring the light in

With you

Fingers shaking

This is being human

Keep your lies 

For other girls

I don’t pretend in here

When skin is touching 

I’m letting you in

With or without you wanting me to

Crooked letter smiles 

Lead to endless conversations 

Making the world seem small

I would run into the sun

Until regeneration stopped being guaranteed

Limited lives

Limited chances

I keep my chin above water

I’ll let you pour over me

Until I see it all

Final decisions will be made post-haste

I’m not climbing up this hill

I’m standing on top

I’ll stand alone 

A millennia 

If that’s what it takes

If you can’t wage war 

Just to feel the warmth of my breath

I don’t want you here

Roots

I’ve got you 

Like right left hook

I am an accomplice now

Holding your look

That I’ll forget

That’s what we do

We feel and hold on

Shake loose when the roots withdraw 

If it’s not easy

Why do it at all

I want bones cracking 

To reach through the gate

We look down on consistency 

Stabilizing our fears

Cover it up

Whiskey and shoddy humor 

Makes us feel safe

Free from the lack of want 

Framed degrees and whispered reputations

I remember everything 

Even the midnight hour

It was good for a while

Now the conveyor belt of feelings

On to the next

Who is trying to fill a void 

From the last

We never learn

We just dig deeper graves

To burry our love

I’m scared 

It didn’t bring me to my knees

The Fall

You were noise 

When the curtain lifted

Making yourself seem big

Indignant 

You had been wronged

And the world owed you a right

Maybe so

But at what point do angels turn into demons

At what point does mercy turn to martyrdom

At what point does wisdom turn into manipulation

Whispering in everyone’s ear 

Keeping tally marks of the times you were right

Even when it wasn’t your fight

Keeping it on hand in a locked box

Because secrets have a tendency of bursting out

You annihilated everyone’s life 

Demanding apologies for blemishing your own shaky reputation

I admit

Villains took over your life

But when you dipped your halo in venom

You became the darkness

You can never make it right

Eruption

Eyes catching fire

The mountain blew

Watching as anger fumed

Feeling something inside 

Just let go

A collision

Someone else 

Behind the wheel

Accepting fate

Defeat lingering in ligaments

Pressure weighing down

Knowing what was to come

Even after escape

Recovery never settles

When the captor is in your back yard 

Returning to an awakening from dormancy 

Sky is overwhelmed 

Fire flying

Ash falling like flakes of snow

The mountain opening her mouth

The desperate state of isolation

Felt in her rebuke-fueled tone

Lava 

Thrown out 

From her lungs

Stained with fear

Clearing her throat 

Her face was consumed

Hatred like that doesn’t subside

It devours

From the inside

Keep Me Close

Keep me close

When you remember glossy teeth

Guarding a tender tongue

Wanting to reach past a barrier 

You couldn’t overcome

Video games 

And sweet red wine

I was there

On a couch 

I was there 

Looking out

Never really let in

It’s okay

Time will pass

I’m use to living life this way